Recently I've been thinking a lot about blogging. And honestly, I've been thinking about how infrequently I blog. In the past I have found blogging to be cathartic and helpful. In the present, I have a desire to write, but often feel like "I can't put that out there for the world to read." Whether it's work related or personally related, I feel like life has gotten much more complicated and relationships have gotten much deeper, meaning there is a lot more of life that is off limits.
So, now I am in a period of discernment. Is the blogging worth it? I have been working on compiling a Lenten devotional book and have considered using various past posts and have enjoyed what I wrote and feel like that type of inspiration has been missing in life, so then I wonder if it's worth it for me to continue writing.
I need inspiration. I need ideas. I need parts of my life that aren't overly vulnerable so that I can feel free in sharing.
I've been reading dooce.com for a couple of years now and really enjoy Heather's posts. In recent weeks she has shared about her separation from her husband and how hard that has been. I admire her vulnerability in sharing with the online community. I sometimes wish I had that same freedom. I realize it's not always a blessing, it can be a curse to have the whole world "up in your stuff". Even now I sometimes resent how visible my life is to people in the church, and I guess that's part of why I don't feel safe in sharing more. I want some part of my life left for me, some part where people don't know what is happening, some part that is separate and my own.