Espire: a place of sanctuary

When I was in seminary, a friend invited me to go with her to serve a hot meal to the homeless.  We got up early one morning, shared a meal with folks downtown who had spent the night on the street and then we went to a different room to hand out hats, dry socks, and toiletry items.  

If someone asked for a beanie, I randomly gave them one.  One man said he didn't want the random one I had pulled, instead he wanted one of a different color.  In my head, I sort of balked at his request thinking "beggars can't be choosers" but I gave him the hat anyway.

As we finished distributing items, my thoughts gnawed at me.  It was just a hat and we had plenty, what did it matter to me if he chose blue over grey?  Why had I been so harsh in my mind?  After all the guests had left, the workers sat down for reflection and devotion and I confessed my hard-hearted thoughts.  It hurt me that I had been so harsh (even if I didn't say it out-loud) to someone who had spent the night on the cold wet streets of Atlanta and simply wanted a different colored hat.  

After our breakfast volunteering, my friend Jessie and I returned weekly for an evening meal and then "foot clinic" where we washed people's feet, cutting out corns, scrapping away calluses, massaging their feet, lotioning them and then giving them clean dry socks.  It was beautiful and challenging all at the same time.  And I learned a lot as I heard stories from those (mostly) men.  I learned to see them as people and not problems.  I tried to learned the nuances of their struggles and the challenges of living on the street.  

Throughout my years of ministry, I have worked with and encountered hundreds of people who have spent the night or lived on the street.  I have shared meals, opened the showers, given clothes, distributed Bibles, offered a bottle of water or a granola bar, taken people to the bus depot, or arranged for a night in a hotel.  And I've heard many many stories of trials, job losses, family disputes, and battles with addiction.  

The issues that lead to homelessness are often complex and the solutions take time.  The churches I have served have faced various challenges in offering a place of sanctuary and grace.  Which is why I am so grateful to partner with an agency like Family Promise. I worked with them for 2 years in Valencia and now again in Moscow.  I am so appreciative of the ways they recognize the need in our community and equip lay volunteers to serve our neighbors in need.  It is a gift to work with people who care and who have a functioning structure and true accountability in their program.  

This Sunday we will begin our Fall week of hosting the families that are currently in the Family Promise Program.  It is an opportunity for us to share a meal, to help with kids (for parents who don't really get a break or have a simple "play room" where they can leave their kids while they cook dinner, or read a book, or make a phone call....when you're a parent on the streets, or even in the FP program, you are always "on"), to be a safe person to talk with, or simply be a presence in a warm place for them to stay.  

Trials of messy ministry

Sometimes ministry sucks. Not really, well, yeah really.  I don't normally openly say that.  Especially because the great parts far outweigh the crap parts.  But there are things that just feel awful in their being.  Today offered one of those things.  

For more than 2 years we have been "battling" with 2 different homeless folks that we serve.  We've been in ministry with them nearly twice that time, but 2+ years ago it became a thing.  A thing where we had been asking and asking and asking and asking that they not stay the night and not hang out on church property when they weren't attending a church function.  We had issues with altercations, shopping carts set on fire, the police, and a whole variety of charming things that come with being in urban-esque ministry with those who live chronically on the streets.  

It wasn't the first time we waded in these waters. We had been down a similar road before with other friends we served.  But they, after a few months, finally obliged and stopped staying the night and loitering (mostly).  But these 2, these 2 refused to waver.  And ever since it's felt like a battle.  Some days it's just irritating, other days you turn a blind eye because there's not energy or time for it and other days it just infuriates you.  Sometimes it's downright exhausting.  

One of these friends has been MIA for a couple of weeks.  We assume she's back in jail, but it could be any number of things.  But he's been around. And last week we decided we needed to draw a hard line.  Harder than the rules we had in place. Harder than calling the police (who rarely show up anyway and when they do take more than 45 minutes to get to the church).  We decided we would have him sign a contract that said he understands how he has broken the rules and that we are enacting certain consequences as a result.  

The content looks like this:

As a result of openly defiant behavior relating to Wesley UMC and its rules for participation in ministries and presence on the campus, we are enacting the following rules for ________________.  The following rules are effective through March 2014, at which time a conversation with Pastor Debbie and head of trustees will be necessary before restoring any privileges or access to ministries offered at Wesley UMC.

Rule violations include:

• Breaking into buildings
• Stealing church, NA, and AA property
• Loitering
• Accessing church electricity without permission
• Defiance when asked to leave church property
• Stowing personal belongings in bushes and on church property.

 

Rules of restriction include but are not limited to:

• No mail access effective October 5, 2013. Received mail will be forwarded to an address if provided, or returned to sender.
• No Sunday breakfast, shower, or clothing privileges.
• No Tuesday morning food distribution privileges.
• No access to additional church ministries including worship, NA/AA programs, Bible studies, or special events.

Following our no trespassing ordinance:

• Sleeping on church property is not allowed at any point.
• Resting, stopping by, or sorting personal belongings is not allowed.
• Lack of church member or pastor presence does not negate any of these rules.  

Quite honestly, this is not the road we wanted to take.  We wanted to offer grace and second chances and repeat the rules and have him comply. But he hasn't and he refuses to.  We know that he has bigger issues going on in his life. And I have offered numerous times to help him get help.  But for now, we need a hard line.  The break ins, the theft, the defiance, the getting cussed out, it's all become too much and something has to change.  

And yet, even knowing all that, it still sucks. When you live in a profession of second (and 157th) chances, you want people to live into the fullness of who they are. You don't want this. Not the bad behavior or the hard line.

  And so, sometimes, it sucks.