Burn Out

For months I struggled to find the creativity and energy I was accustomed to. My fuse was short and I was easily upset and irritated by even minor things. I knew I didn't feel like "me" but didn't feel I was depressed like I have been in years past.

Basically I muddled through and got the job done. Generally I felt good about the work I was doing, but I struggled to muster energy or enthusiasm for Bible study (of which I taught 3 a week) or even Sunday morning worship. I knew something wasn't right, but had no idea how to name it or fix it.

One night, late, I sat down and talked with a friend/spiritual mentor/colleague. I shared how I was feeling: my fatigue, my frustrations, my lack of drive and he said, "What you're describing sounds like burn out." As soon as he said it, I started to cry. I knew he was right. I didn't want him to be right, but I knew he was. He asked if I had vacation time coming up and I said, "Well, sort of, but it's already scheduled and I will be running a major event and climbing a really tall mountain. It's time off, but not really vacation."

He recommended that I take some time away and said that I'd need more than just one week.

The next day I called my (official) mentor and shared what I had with G. When I said, "He said it sounds like burn out," her response was, "Well, it doesn't surprise me. You've been going full bore for so long, it was bound to happen." Her words stung (I didn't want to be burnt out) but I knew she too was right. She also asked if I had time off coming up and I gave the same answer. She recommended I take a full month off to recover and get restored.

She told me to talk to my SPRC and even my DS and ask for their support. She said, "Can you do that?" I said, "Well, I can do that, but I don't want to. I don't want to be the one who is burnt out. I'm only in my fourth year of ministry."

She understood but still urged me to take a break and ask for help. I didn't want to ask for help. And I didn't want to be the one who had to ask for help. I don't like asking for help in general (and that's when things are good), let alone when things are bad (and God forbid I should have to admit failure or weakness or some other frailty of the human condition).

I really struggled with the notion that I should take time off, or let go of some of my responsibilities. I also knew that one of the pastors I admire most had had a (self-acknowledged) mental breakdown because he worked himself into the ground (but took time off and has since recovered). I knew that if I didn't attend to things then, they would only get worse.

Fortunately, I had already decided to make August a month of sabbath for the whole church. I would not be teaching any Bible studies. I had encouraged all the committee leaders to give their committees the month off. In other words, aside from Sundays and staff meetings, nothing else was pre-scheduled for an entire month.

I scheduled a meeting with my SPRC chair and told her what was going on with me. She was very understanding and concerned and told me to do whatever I needed to feel better and be restored.

So, for the next month, I laid low. I worked a minimal work-week (30-40 hours instead of 50-60) and tried to do only the necessary things. I preached and led worship, answered phone calls, and did hospital visits. I ran staff meeting and kept the general planning for the church moving. I also took time to rest (sometimes probably more because of depression than an actual need to sleep--but either way it was important). I dealt with issues in my personal life and gave myself permission not to be a frantic workaholic (a task that is harder than it sounds....even on vacation I was compelled to answer phone calls and plan programs and sort out church conflict).

After four weeks of "part-time" work, I finally feel better. I feel like myself again. I get excited about teaching and preaching and have enthusiasm and energy and lots of ideas for the work we are doing.

Burn out isn't simply something that happens to the 'old guys/gals who have been doing this forever'. Burn out is something that can happen to any of us if we don't set good boundaries, if we have insufficient personal (or professional) support, or if we work far too many hours and do way too many things (even for all the "right" reasons). Burn out can happen, even to the youngest clergy member in the conference.

I am grateful for G and H who named it for what it was. I am grateful I had already planned August for sabbath so I didn't have to feel like I was bailing but instead just following the plan (it also made me think that every August should be sabbath as it was a nice reprieve for everyone from the routine of meetings and weekly Bible study commitments). I am grateful for B who called every day to make sure I was ok. I am grateful for R who did cooking and cleaning and laundry when I simply couldn't muster the energy. I am grateful it didn't take a bigger toll on my physical health. I am grateful for an SPRC chair who was 100% supportive and would send me notes of encouragement and reminders to take time away and to honor my weekly day of sabbath.

And now, as I feel "recovered" I keep reminding myself not to pick up a million projects all over again, to slow down and wait, for the busy season will come all on its own--I do not have to go looking for extra things to do. And, as of yesterday's staff meeting, it seems the busy season is nearly here...two weeks before there is a flurry of activity in the church associated with baptisms, stewardship, membership classes, major fundraisers, and special Sundays!

Abundant love

Over the last 15 months, I have blogged various times about our work with the homeless. We have struggled with what to do as a church, confronted those opposed to the ministries, expanded the work we do, wrestled with the city, wrestled with our own internal conflicts, and continued to grow in grace.

In my work with these ministries I have witnessed many relationships. Relationships are a quirky thing when you live on the streets. Rarely do you get something for nothing, there always seems to be a trade involved. People (at least from what I see and experience) aren't simply friends to be friends, there's always something at stake. People are befriended because they can get you something (food, shelter, cigarettes, information, or whatever substance your body is craving). Often the relationships are abusive and "transactional"--continued only for the trade-off that can be negotiated.

yet, in the last few months I have witnessed one relationship that stands out to me as exemplary of the true depth of love.

C is one of "our guys" who sleeps at the church. He has been sober for 8 months now and has been a model and example of what we hope for in our work (progress, sobriety, feeling loved by those around him regardless) and since sobering up, he has been able to reconnect with his ex and their young daughter. T and their daughter come to the church in the evenings to spend time relaxing and talking with C. Not the "dates" most of us would dream of (or even think of as reasonable or desirable) but they are faithfully trying to rebuild trust together and forge a new beginning in their relationship.

It is awesome to me that after two years of being estranged (and strained) that they are both willing to come together to seek redemption in their relationship with one another.

I am impressed and inspired by T's resilience and commitment to try and make things work. Regardless of the fact that C doesn't work (and hasn't for a long time), fights his addiction, he sleeps "on the streets" and cannot provide for her or her daughter, she still has hope for him and for their relationship.

Relationships are hard and they take intentionality and work. They are doubly (if not quadruply) hard when you deal with an addiction, let alone joblessness and homelessness. I admire C and T for all they do for one another and for their patience in rebuilding their relationship. I really am impressed and inspired by this example of love.

Competition

I’m a fairly competitive person. My family would say I am a sore loser. I would say I like to win. Growing up, everything was a competition in my mind. I competed with classmates for the best grades (getting angry and aggravated over a 0.02 point difference in our GPAs). I competed (in my own mind) with my siblings’ accomplishments. Everything was about being “the best” or “the top.” Competition was a way of life in high school. And, as salutatorian, class president, and cheer co-captain that worked for me.

When I got to college (UCLA) I fell of my pedestal as I met class president after class president, and valedictorian after valedictorian. At UCLA, it seemed, everyone was “the best”. In those early months, I made a choice. I chose out of honors and away from grades. I chose not to compete. I saw the things I had lost because I was so focused on the grade, rather than the learning. As a competitor, I would cut myself no slack. There were no excuses for second best. There was no grace. There was no justification for failure. And that first year of college, I pretty much walked away.

My whole attitude toward school and learning changed. (I would say that the classes with Chip Anderson played a MAJOR role in this as I learned to be a “learner” rather than a “student”.) I began focusing on what I was learning, rather than the grade I was getting. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t start failing school with this new approach. Rather, my grades reflected the fact that I was actually learning. (Go figure!)

I am still fairly driven, but I try not to compare myself constantly to others and ridicule myself for the ways I don’t measure up. I still have rigorous standards for myself (possibly too rigorous) and like to achieve things. I am goal oriented and like achieving the goal. But I try to steer away from competition. I don’t focus on sports or competitions. I can do most things, but don’t perfect many things because I get too drawn into the evaluation and competitive nature of being “the best” all over again.

Generally, I would say this has benefitted me (and my relationships). I am more relaxed. Less tense. More gracious (with myself and with others). And more easy going. I’m good with that.

Well, recently at Family Camp, I joined a game of spoons. I have played many times and used to be pretty good at it. A friend gave me her spot so I could play (I came in very late in the game) and I did fairly well. But as I acquired more letters, I got more and more frustrated. My fuse got extremely short and my patience for “friendly” banter and physical scrambles for the spoons became obsolete. I finally finished spelling “SPOONS” (much like you would with “HORSE” in basketball) and left the game. As I left, I could feel something in me raging. It was like my old self and new self were at war. My old self was disgusted with losing, ready to throw insults and caddy banter at the other players and to be the “sore loser” I am notorious for being; and my new self reasoned “it’s only a game” and “it’s not worth being physically aggressive.”

To be quite honest, my old self was winning the argument. I was grumpy and irritable and ready to let loose on the next person that mentioned it. I was no longer friendly and amiable and gracious. My old self was back in full force.

And all I could think was, “This is why I don’t compete! It does not bring out the best in me. Nothing in me is righteous right now.”

Fortunately, it was late, and I had a private room, so I could sulk on my own and then process what exactly was taking place inside of me. In many ways, being super competitive is an old habit. A habit I thought I had kicked. It’s amazing to me how guttural and entrenched my reactions were. I didn’t think, “I should compete.” It just happened, and so did the frustration and the bitterness at losing.

It’s no wonder that from a theological or spiritual perspective, we advocate fully leaving behind bad habits. If we continue to hold on, even to just a semblance, we hold onto the habit as a whole. Maybe it looms just below the surface, but it’s there ready to take hold at a moment’s notice. The further removed we get from that habit, the easier it is to rebuke the ugly and callous things that come out in us because of it.

I don’t think this means I shouldn’t ever play a game or sport again, only that I have to proceed consciously. I need to think about how I am engaging the game and making sure that I play to enjoy playing rather than simply to win.

Sermon tracking?

So, I gave up lectionary preaching except for high holy seasons nearly a year ago. I found that I could guide people with greater intentionality through scriptures, doctrines, and teachings if I chose a series that made sense rather than the lectionary, which sadly does not always make the best sense. It has been fairly effective and give people a handle on what we will be looking at for a month or two at a time.

My trouble now, which isn't just since I gave up the lectionary, it was a problem before, is that I don't always remember which scriptures I have preached in which setting, or which illustrations I have used when. I have preached weekly for the last 3 years and have also preached at summer camp, youth and young adult retreats, and women's events. Three years of preaching is a lot, though it is nothing compared to the (potentially) 44 years of preaching I have left before mandatory retirement. So, the question is, how do I track which scriptures/themes I have used when, and which (personal) illustrations I have used in which setting. I don't want to be repeating, but I also want to be able to use the illustrations that mean the most when they are relevant.

Anyone have a good methodology?

3 steps forward, 2 steps back

I've chronicled our homeless ministries over the last year. At first it was more quiet compliance and as the year has progressed more and more has been done to advocate for our brothers and sisters living on the street. I have been amazed at how well Wesley Church has dealt with these issues and am inspired by how so many members have been willing to stretch themselves, reach out, learn stories of folks they otherwise may not, and offer a helping hand in a variety of ways.

Some of the ways we have been in ministry over the last year include:
offering shelter under our eaves
purchasing prescriptions for folks who have been hospitalized
Washing laundry
Offering showers
Opening bathrooms for use (you'd be amazed at how necessary this is and how few options there are)
Providing clothes
Providing hygiene supplies
Sunday morning hot breakfast
Dry/non-perishables when requested
Food bags for people pan-handling
Gas assistance
Food cards
Hair cuts
Bible study Sunday mornings
Bus passes
Christmas stockings with everyday items

and most importantly:
Care
Inclusion
Acceptance
Love
Encouragement
Accountability
Relationships
Wisdom

The things we do are important, they show love in lots of ways. But it's acknowledging people and treating them as equals that really makes a difference.

We have a few folks that attend worship regularly, and one who pledged membership vows in July. We have worked with the city to try and be helpful in empowering folks. And...we have gone against the city in offering shelter without firm time limitations.

There has been a lot of push and pull and give and take. There has been some controversy, but it has been handled well by everyone involved. In some ways it feels like we are front runners and pioneers in doing this type of ministry within So Cal UMCs (I know we aren't the first or the last but it has been hard to find "models" to follow....) And in other ways, it feels like if we are front runners, our church is WAY behind.

Those are the three steps forward...we have also taken steps backward. Not huge steps backward, but definitely not steps of progress. Instead they have been steps that remind us that we will not solve this problem any time soon and the issues are much larger than us.

1) A newbie that I have seen in the area but who only recently started staying at the church did crack, followed it with marijuana, and then was thirsty and decided a beer was the best way to quench his thirst. He got into a fight with his brother and physically assaulted him at the church and then began threatening the brother and all those around. The police were called but did not arrest him. I was at the church in the evening by chance and ended up dealing with the fallout and told Mr. Newbie that he was not welcome at the church if he was going to be threatening people and hurting those around him. He was wonderfully compliant with me, as everyone typically is, and left right away. I'm sure he'll be back, and most likely will be high when he does. I alerted a police friend and he said he'd swing by to check on things at the end of his shifts.

2) One of our guys (who sleeps at a neighboring church) was literally set on fire in his sleep the other night. I saw him the following day and his burns were bad, but looked tolerable. He refused medical help and I said I'd check back with him. Today was the next I heard word and found out he had to go to the hospital and get a skin graft. I called and talked to him and he was alright. He was uncomfortable and in a lot of pain, but was seeing opportunities for major changes in his life as a result of this (including sobriety and staying in an actual building...something he hasn't done in 17 years).

We have had 4 different men hospitalized in the last 2 months. They have needed help for different reasons, but it has scared a number of their friends. Sometimes for good, sometimes not. But typically it has nudged people toward sobriety, which is a definite good thing. We have one guy who has been sober for nearly 7 months now and he has reconnected with his girlfriend and daughter and they are rebuilding trust and a relationship and hoping for a full reunion, another has 6 weeks sober after being hospitalized twice and nearly dying one of those times. A third I rarely see, but is reported to also be sober, nearly 6 weeks as well. I assume that if he is sober that his family/friends are allowing him to stay with them again and that's why he's not at the church.

Homeless ministry is a mixed bag. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's tedious. Sometimes you feel you are making amazing progress and sometimes you feel like nothing will ever make a real or lasting difference. What we are learning is to stay faithful to the call and God will take care of the rest.

As a side note, R and I watched "The Soloist" last night and it was really good. It was fairly long (and felt long) but really was worthwhile. I think it'd be a really good movie to show folks you want to be advocates or to help people better understand the homeless or what it means to help (i.e., that you can't make all the decisions for them, no matter how helpful you think it will be) and that they are people with their own stories and gifts and they need to be understood and appreciated for who they are. If you haven't seen it, it's definitely worth it.

Product Endorsement

A few weeks ago we went to Bath and Body Works to get some new "smells". We got two kinds of lotion (mandarin lime and eucalyptus mint....both of which are good), and three kinds of soap (apple, citrus something, and nectarine mint). All of the products are good and would be worth repurchasing in my mind, but the Nectarine Mint Soap is the BEST!!! It smells AMAZING and I would be willing to become OCD just to wash my hands 50 times a day with that soap! If you're in need of soap or some smelly inspiration...this is the way to go!

Church Website

Thanks to Maguire and Johnson our new website is finally up!!

The Quiet Room

I did CPE my senior year of seminary at Northside Hospital in Atlanta. It was an amazing place to be. My supervisor (rest in peace MCB) was amazing and insightful, as was the assistant (thank you LR). And my group was amazing. I had one good friend there (I love you LS) who supported and encouraged me in a way others couldn't or wouldn't. We also had another woman, second career, who was great for the group, and an international, conservative male who confronted and challenged me often. While I didn't always welcome his presence in the group, he helped me grow in many ways I could never exactly name, but know exist.

Chaplaining where I did was a gift. It is the hospital with the most births of any in the US every year. More than 18000 births each year. Unfortunately that also included a fair number of miscarriages and stillbirths (roughly 450 each year).

As such, I did a lot of grief work. Each time I was on call (save twice) I dealt with at least 3 deaths...both infant and adult. I cared for many families in crisis and very difficult situations in addition to patients on the gastro/general surgery floor during rounds.

My first call on my first night on-call was for a death in the ER. The doctors were anxious when I got there, not wanting to tell the family without me present (as a first time chaplain on her first call I was not convinced I was the one they should be anxious to see). Once at the ER, I walked behind the doctors to the "quiet room" where they told two sisters that there 40-something year old sister was dead. Both women cried. One fell into my arms and crumpled to the floor. I rocked and held her there for what seemed like forever before she even looked up to see who I was (namely an unnamed stranger). "Trained" for this situation, I talked with the women and told them what to expect when we went to the room (a body cool to the touch, a tube in her mouth) and when they were ready I took them to the room. I told them it was okay to touch her and to talk to her, and they did. They cried and lamented and told her they loved her.

I spent nearly 6 hours with that family that night. In and out of the ER, trading one family member or friend for another to go and say goodbye. I would leave and take another call (there were at least 2 other deaths that night as well) and then come back and check on them.

I spent many more days and nights at the hospital. I cared for family after family who grieved the death of a loved one. I walked people through saying goodbye. I held them. I gave them space. I told them what to expect. I answered questions. And I listened. I learned many many lessons from my time at Northside, far too many to articulate them all, but each of which is priceless.

I learned that people grieve differently. Some will scream, some will hit, some will cry, some will wail, some will not say a word. Some will want to see their loved one, and some will not. Some will be scared, and some will deny the reality that is before them. And each of those responses is right for them. There is not one way or a right way to grieve.

I learned that most people do not confront death with any kind of regularity, familiarity, or ease. People do not know what to expect (neither from the situation or from themselves). As a caregiver, it is important to walk people through the situation and explain what is happening and what to expect, what might be true for them. Not all people need this, but from my experience the majority do.

I have learned to be a buffer for the family, asking questions and making requests they won't, or don't know they can. For a person that does not need an autopsy, I ask that they be extubated before the family comes in so they look a little more normal. I get the family water and juice and tissues, telling the nurses that I have worked in a hospital and can manage if they show me where to go (assuming they have much else to do). I also let the nurses know when the family has questions or when they are ready to leave and need to do the paperwork.

I have learned that there isn't generally urgency at the hospital. The family can take as much time or as little time as they want. Each hospital is different and if you do work with a hospital, it is good to know their policies (ERs can be hard if they are busy and need the bed, but generally there isn't a rush to move the person and so people can take their time).

I have learned to affirm people and assure them that what they feel is normal, healthy, and ok. Grief takes many shapes. So whether the person has peace, or is angry, or can't believe it, I say it's ok....because it is, and they need to know that, that they aren't expected to feel a particular way.

I have also learned that I need to give myself space to grieve too. It is hard to bear people's pain. It is hard to see person after person get sick and die. And it is important to grieve.

This post didn't go the direction I expected. I meant to start with the "quiet room" in order to share that when I got a call to go to the hospital last night and was taken straight to the family in the quiet room I knew it wasn't good. It's the place the hospital puts you to tell you serious and bad news. This isn't always true, but often. It can be used for a large family or for a loud family that they need to contain and allow space to talk or make decisions, but often it is a private and quiet space so a family can cry and lament and grieve on their own.

Sadly, that was the case last night. After 5 minutes with the family, the doctor came in and shared the news. LB had died. I was with the family nearly two hours as we talked and waited, saw LB and shared prayers, talked and waited, and listened and talked some more all before finishing the final paperwork and heading home.

LB was a dear man, who was gentle and soft spoken, convicted of God's love for EACH person regardless of religion or race. He was committed to justice and not afraid to share his two cents. He was a wonderful man, an insightful professor, and a loving father and husband.

God Bless you LB.

Pastor Debbie’s Favorite Things

My SPRC chair had asked me for a list of my favorite things before my ordination party. This is what came of it: (Sung by the "non-singers" of my congregation)

White Chocolate mocha from Starbucks of course.

The Shack, Harry Potter two books she’d endorse.

Sour patch kids are a snack she might bring.

These are a few of her favorite things.

Riding Space Mountain, eating bananas quite frozen.

Third Day and Garth Brooks some music she’s chosen.

“Unanswered Prayers” is a song she might sing.

These are a few of her favorite things.

Cranium with friends is a thing she might do.

Hollering and cheering for UCLA too

Eating fruit that is dried and cheese that is string.

These are a few of her favorite things.

Liver and onions, having no options, when the Trojans win

She simply remembers her favorite things

And all seems right, again

Tilling and planting and picking the fruit

Reading and hiking and sewing to boot.

Enjoying her family at Thanksgiving

These are a few of her favorite things

Teaching and preaching and helping the homeless.

Stretching us all to see who we can bless

Rebuilding the destruction a hurricane brings.

These are a few of her favorite things.

Leading a congregation who has chosen to grow.

A church with more potential than the members know.

People who love and are serving the King

These are a few of her favorite things.

When he calls you, if you answer

If His Love you will share

You can make a difference to all those around

And people will see Him there.

The necessity of reading

I think I’ve mentioned a time or two that life has been insanely busy lately. I am going and working and doing all of the time. I feel so full. The kind of full when you take on other people’s stuff and can’t get rid of it…I have more and more trouble lately letting things go or emptying out so I can be filled again. There just isn’t time.
As part of that, my mind is always concentrated on all there is to do, so there is not a lot of “free space” for creative ideas to come in. I used to be really good at brainstorming a million ideas and then filtering back to what I really wanted to do. Now I have trouble coming up with anything creative, which has been very frustrating.

Today I am waiting for the air conditioning repair guy to come check the ducting, figure out why it is leaking, and hopefully fix it so the house stays cool in the afternoon. I am without internet (yes, this was written on word first) and have been for 5 days (the cable company comes tomorrow) and so I can only do document work or reading rather than the administrative stuff with email (which I desperately need to do!! Camp is only 4 days away!!)

So, I am reading for tonight’s meeting. It is the 4th chapter of “Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations” and it is on Risk-Taking Mission and Service. I am enjoying the chapter because it is drawing me into memories of my mission trips abroad, which is a wonderful place to go in my mind! But I am also enjoying it because it is sparking new ideas for ministry….the brainstorming and creativity I have missed.

And somehow it dawned on me…reading is my creativity fodder. I use the ideas of others to spark my own mind and then change and shape their ideas to fit my own plans. And the sad reality is I haven’t been reading much of anything lately. I haven’t been reading for fun or for work. I read the Bible for Bible study and for sermon prep, but I haven’t been reading much beyond that. I hate to state that anywhere where it can be held against me, but it’s the truth.

Fortunately, after the prophetic word that I have not been reading and should be, there is the evangelio (the good news! The gospel!) that I can get back into reading!! I just need to be intentional about it. I need to choose some books and let them work on me. Two parishioners got me a subscription to the Christian Century for the coming year as an ordination gift, so I can start with that, and should probably pick up a fun book too and then hopefully some creative sparks will get my mind in gear!

Where there is grace

We talk a lot about grace in the Methodist church---that free, unmerited gift from God. It comes in many shapes and sizes: forgiveness, help, growth, peace, comfort, reconciliation…the list goes on. We give it different names: Justifying, Prevenient, and Sanctifying. But in general, grace is grace. And as Roberta Bondi told us in seminary: “Accept grace where grace is offered.” For me this has meant receiving gifts of home produce, jams, and flowers from parishioners for no apparent reason, or asking for help at the parsonage time and time again because of various issues. I need grace regularly in my relationships—forgiveness, tolerance, and understanding for my many quirks and flaws.

As a pastor, I see many offerings of grace within the church. There are gentle and subtle reminders of God’s presence and work in individuals day in and day out.

There is one particular offering of grace that has struck me for months now. We have one woman in particular in the church who is “losing her marbles” to say it in a crass way. She doesn’t have alzheimers, more accurately she has “Old Timers” though I am not convinced she isn’t having TIAs on a regular basis, but that has yet to be confirmed medically. Anyway, this woman has a lot of trouble remembering, she doesn’t always track her thoughts, and she repeats…a lot. She is also one of the most faithful disciples I have ever met. She is diligent in prayer and in outreach and gives more than most. She sends cards to everyone for their birthday, she gives gifts to the graduates, makes dried fruit for the diabetics and is constantly doing for others.

It has been extremely hard to see her lose her mind slowly. She is one of those women who is known for being “sharp as a tack” and yet everyone knows something is terribly wrong. She still sings in the choir and attends Bible study twice a week. And I see grace offered each week by other members of the class. This woman shares often, but not always a relevant story, but people still listen quietly…even to the stories they could share themselves they’ve been told so many times. They turn hymnal pages for her when she is on the wrong page, gently guiding her to the right place without reprimanding her or even teasing her.

People have been more than tolerant; they have been kind, warm, and caring. They could easily be frustrated, terse, and snippy with her, but instead they offer grace. And I am grateful, for where there is grace, there is God.

How well do you know Pastor Debbie

At the big ordination party my church threw a few weeks ago, there was a quiz on the tables: "how well do you know pastor Debbie?"

Quite frankly, I thought it was hard. There were some questions even I didn't know the answer to. =) I told R he had to get 80% right in order to marry me! =) With me next to him and my parents across from him, he did well...95%!!!

if you're curious about how well you know me, here's the quiz:

What is Pastor Debbie's birth date? On what day of the week was she born?
What were her vital statistics? height? weight? (then not now)
How old was Debbie when she went to church for the first time?
How many siblings? Names?
Names of proud parents who wrote on Debbie's birth announcement: "We're praising the Lord for Debbie's birth and the joys of this special time in our lives." (Amen to that.)
At what age did she roll over and see snow for the first time? (same age, different times?)
Debbie took lessons on this instrument before she could reach the pedals (hint, hint).
What special accessory did Debbie make in Girl Scouts for her mom that she wore for three different occasions?
True or false. Debbie (in her younger years, of courses) would pitch a fit when she would lose at cards or other games.
What did Debbie "birth" for a play in grade school? (She mentioned this in a sermon)
Favorite grade school sport? Favorite junior high sport? Favorite high school sports?
What color nail polish did Debbie wear on her toes and fingernails when she was in high school?
What position did Debbie hold in her high school graduating class as a result of a high GPA?
Name two roles/jobs Debbie had in high school, one of which she still holds responsibility for today.
What high school did Debbie attend? What college? What seminary?
In what second language is Debbie fluent?
Name at least five places outside the United States that Debbie has traveled.
Had she not been a minister, what occupation was Debbie considering?
Names of her two dogs?
Current shoe size?
yes or no: Does Debbie have a Facebook page? How did she get it?
And who is Rick Sperry to her anyhow?
What did Debbie say to the following: "I wish my congregation knew...."?

Peach and creme fraiche

This was awesome!!! I couldn't find the creme fraiche, so I used an el salvadorean creme....sort of like nata, or a mexican creme like sour cream (without the salt) and it worked fine.