So in 12 days I will be a married woman. It's a bit of a crazy thought to think I will be married next week. That's nuts. I realize we've been on the marriage train officially for a year this week, but somehow in the timeline of my life, it never seemed like it would be this close.
Surprisingly (?!?!) I am not anxious or worried or any of those things. Last week my mind finally had freedom after I finished the concert, my brain kicked into high gear about all the things that still need to be done for the wedding and I hit super stressed and mildly cranky. It's all detail work at this point and if nothing else happens, the wedding will still go on. We will be married and there will still be a party and we will still leave for a honeymoon in Mexico(provided the passport glitches get worked out this week....if not, we're going somewhere. Period.)
But this week I passed out of cranky and into super excited. I'm getting married next week!!! Period. =)
But there's this other reality that I am having trouble wrapping my head around is that I will be changing my name. That's not a huge deal to me in and of itself, (not yet anyway), the stranger part is thinking of what that title means to people. I mean "Mrs. Sperry" will be me. I will be "Mrs. Sperry." But my mother in law (*to be) is Mrs Sperry; and I am not her. And, for that matter, my new sister in law to be is also Mrs. Sperry. I'm not her either. So, to take on that name in some way merges my identity with theirs and I'm not quite sure what it means to be a Sperry and not a Camphouse. Not that I'm not a Camphouse, I'll always be one of them, but you know, I won't be known as a Camphouse. And then you could argue that I could use my title to distinguish myself from the other Sperry women. I could be known as "Rev. Sperry" or "Pastor Sperry" and in that way have my own identity. But you'd be wrong again. Because "Rev. Sperry" was R's dad. (Was because he passed away over 2 years ago now....) but he was the Pastor Sperry who was well known. Oh yeah, and R is clergy (though he doesn't use the title) but that's his title too. So, being "Rev. Sperry" won't feel like an identity of my own either.
I'm not saying it's good or bad either way. I'm trying to say it's new and different and I'm not quite sure how to process it fully yet. It's bizarre to have created an identity and reputation for myself and with just 4 simple signatures (mine, R's, the pastor's, and a witness') all of that will change.