From the beginning of this journey, I have had the thought, "I'm not a
runner, why am I doing this?!" run through my head during most of my
training. I have struggled with the workouts, partly in a physical
sense, but mostly in a psychological sense. I'm not a runner. At
least, I wasn't. I wasn't a runner. Not in high school when I "ran"
track. Not in college or seminary or afterward. I wasn't a runner. I
wasn't a runner when I signed up to run a half marathon, which seems
crazy in and of itself. I mean, why run a half marathon if you're not a
runner?!?! The truthful answer is, I signed up to run to raise money
for a cause and work toward a cure for leukemia and lymphoma (which
also, by default, has a way of helping with a cure for other cancers
too...). I was inspired by Kathleen Stout and her struggle as we as her
victory and the statistics that changed so dramatically to offer life
instead of death to those with a blood cancer diagnosis. So I signed
up. I didn't sign up for the running. I signed up to be challenged and
to do the fundraising and work for something beyond myself.
Only, the thing that happened with all that running and training and
such was that somehow in the midst of it, I became a runner. There
wasn't some glorified Hollywood moment when I took off like Jackie
Joyner Kersee. It just happened, subtly and unannounced. One training I
was fighting the constant thought, "I'm not a runner" and then somehow
on the next I wasn't. And somehow when it came to running 12 miles, I
was undaunted, excited even. And then the next week when we ran 6
miles, I said, "We only ran 6 this week." ONLY being the operative
word. Only 6?!? Who says that? Runners do. Runners who do much
greater distances and see 6 as a reprieve say "only 6". And that's when
I knew for sure. I'm now a runner.
