Distraction

During Lent this year,  I'm fasting from Facebook. I found myself checking in on Facebook and checking out from the present all too often. So I decided that I would fast from Facebook and whenever I felt the urge to scroll through my newsfeed,  I would pray.

It's been a really great gift.  I find myself more present and engaged in people and relationships.  I've also checked in on Sundays (a.k.a. "mini Easter") and posted quotes, pictures of the kids,  and about worship.  And I've invited people to message me their prayer requests. So then during the week,  when I think "I should check Facebook" I remind myself instead to pray for those who've asked. 

Tonight,  I thought,  "I should just go on." And then I thought,  "No, you should pray." I wondered what compels me so strongly to read Facebook and I thought,  it's a desire to have an outlet.  I want a place to disconnect from reality and be free of present circumstances or worries. I can ansent-mindedly scroll and pretend like I've "done" something.  But it's not what my heart really needs.  And this fast is a regular reminder of that.

What my heart needs is God. If I'm  lonely,  if I'm hurting,  if I want to check out. ..I need God. And so, through this fast, I check in with God instead of Facebook, praying for my true needs to be met and praying for all those who are on my heart. 

Facebook faith group

This is a little "Faithbook" Experiment in progress....

A couple of months ago, I joined a health/fitness group to gain some accountability and encouragement for exercise and diet.  We were encouraged to post selfies “post workout” and pictures of the food we ate.  We also encouraged others in the group for making good choices and sticking with their workout.  Each day there were mini-challenges that helped us with fitness (maybe doing 40 squats, or 50 sit ups, or drinking more water).  I didn’t do it all EVERY day, but I did it enough that it has made a significant difference in my health, lack of pain, and weight loss.  And as I did the group, I couldn’t help but think, this is a great model, we could use it for faith!  There were 2 coaches in the group that posted the challenges and helped both with their example and with encouragement and we were there to improve our health.  There were skinny folks and bigger folks, folks who already worked out daily and others who were just getting started.  It was tempting sometimes to compare myself to them, but really, it was about me, doing these things for me, regardless of their size or weight or choices.  It became a great place for me to be accountable in achieving my goals. And, on the days when I didn't want to get out of bed, I had others who posted their work out posts, reminding me it was worth it!

So, as I thought about a faith group, my hope was to have a group of folks with a clear desire to be better/stronger/more faithful in who they are in their relationship with God.  I wanted there to be a place for accountability and encouragement that allowed for some interesting and fun ways to engage faith.  I realize that, like the health group, joining won’t mean everyone does everything every day, but maybe we are encouraged to do something at least a few days of the week and that can lead to growing in our relationship with God.  And, I realize we are all in different places. Some of us may have a daily habit of prayer, others may not. Some may have a place where they serve regularly, others may not.  It’s not about who is the better Christian. It’s about being intentional and accountable in growing for ourselves.  

This is a private group, so what you share isn't visible to everyone of your Facebook friends.  It will be shared within our group and the expectation is that we will respect one another and what is shared.  If we ask for prayer, we should pray for one another without passing on the concern unless we have explicit permission.  If we come with doubts or questions about faith, we should be received with grace and not judgment.  This isn't a group for proving who is right or wrong about scriptural interpretation or theology. It's about helping all of us to grow in our faith.  

This group is not meant to be an excuse or justification for withdrawing from your faith community or church (assuming you're currently active, which is not a requirement).  This is a version of an online cell group.  

Admittedly, while I've done a group like this for fitness, I have not done this type of online faith group.  This is a bit of an experiment to see if it's effective, fruitful, and supportive.  I need your help as we mold and shape the group.  

If you are (still) interested in joining in, please let me know.  For this initial group, I'd like to do a 3 week commitment and see if it's worth repeating. 

More than a sound bite

A few weeks ago I was talking with my dad and he mentioned a story that I had read on Facebook.  Oddly, my first inclination was not to listen more attentively to hear the rest of the story, my first thought was “Oh yeah, yeah, I read about that.”  I didn’t say anything, but kept on listening and found that I didn’t actually know the story. All I knew was the sound bite. I knew the simple sentence summary of what had happened, but I didn’t actually know the story.  And it hit me, I’ve become complacent, comfortable even, with only knowing the sound bite.  The busyness of life has made it so I don’t have long car rides where I call to catch up with friends.  My evenings are mostly dedicated to family time (unless of course I’m at a church meeting) and so I don’t hear the long narratives of my most beloved friends very often. I only see the sound bites, or the occasional picture, and the truth of the matter is I’m missing out. 

So I’ve slowed down my Facebook usage.  I don’t scroll as often and I don’t post as often.  I feel like others have fallen into the same trap, assuming they know me because they read my one sentence summary of my vacation or my week or my struggle.  But they don’t know the real story, they don’t know the fullness of what is happening or how I’m feeling, and that leaves me feeling like they don’t know me.  If you’re a friend (or even family for that matter) I don’t say any of this to be accusatory or condescending.  I say it because I think you are more than a sound bite.  And I want to know more than the simple sentence summary. 

Most days I don’t regret not having a commute.  I love being able to be home in 5 minutes or back to the church in a flash if I have to. But there are other days when I wish I had an hour each way to sit and talk with a friend and catch up on life and family and ministry.  I miss those long talks.  I miss the time of being together despite the distance that separates us.  And I miss knowing more than a sound bite. 

If I were to wax theological, I would say that our relationship with God often falls into similar patterns.  Often the sound bites (the short prayers before a meal, the quick online sermon or the one hour in worship) feel sufficient.  We know a little bit and so it feels like we know something real, we know enough. And yet, if we stop to think about it, we don’t know the whole story, all we know is the sound bite.  Knowing “God loves you” or “God wants more from you” feels sufficient to get us through the week. But if we let that be our pattern, if we let that be sufficient for long enough, we find that we are missing something greater.  In essence the sound bites fool us into losing touch.  They fool us into believing that our relationship can survive at a bare minimum.  And the truth is that that’s a lie. Our relationships cannot withstand the hardships of life or even celebrate the truth breadth of joy if all we have is the simple sentence summary.  We need more. We need more from each other and we need more from God.  

I'm not trying to knock Facebook.  I appreciate the ways it has connected me with people and lives that I probably wouldn't have sought after if left to life pre-social media.  I love seeing the pictures in particular.  I like seeing friends and their kids and feeling connected in a way that's more sustained than once a year for a visit or a holiday.  But I also think it has it's dangers. It can lead us to feel more connected than we are and then when we seek out depth of relationship in a time of need, we find ourselves coming up short and even feeling let down by a lack of response on Facebook.  Not that friends shouldn't respond, but maybe we need to take time to invest in some deeper sharing more often.