Experiencing God: A Hug

Last week, God sent me an angel. Not one with wings, but one in flesh and blood.  I’ve been praying a lot lately for God’s guidance for this time in my life and where it is that God wants me to go and what I am to do in the next chapter of my ministry.  I keep pleading for God’s assurance and God’s direction. 

On Wednesday, I went to the monthly pastor’s prayer meeting. We gather for an hour each month, hosted by different churches, just to pray.  It’s not political. There’s no “agenda”. Our purpose is to praise God (we begin with worship) and to pray—for each other, for our ministries, for our valley, and for whatever else God places on our hearts.  

This month, we gathered at The Sanctuary. And when I walked in there were 4 new people, primarily Spanish speaking.  Normally, I don’t go around greeting folks, I just sort of keep to myself, but I thought, being Spanish speakers (in a largely English speaking group) and being new, I should greet them and introduce myself.  So I did. I met two women first, and shook their hands, then a man, then another woman, who hugged me as she said hello.  I took a step back from the third woman and the first gave me a side hug and then embraced me further.  She just kept holding me.  I’m naturally a physically affectionate person, so it didn’t seem odd to me.  Even as she continued to hold me, I was nonplussed.  It was a God thing.  She embraced me, rubbed my back and whispered assurances into my ear.  I focused on being present in the moment and receiving whatever it was that God wanted for me.  I could feel something inside sort of break loose and break open.  It wasn’t painful, but it was real.  I don’t know what broke…I hoped it was pain or unforgiveness.  And this woman kept on holding me.  She said “Dios te ama mucho.” (God loves you very much).

She pulled away slightly and reiterated that God loves me very much. She said that the hug wasn’t from her, but from God.  God wanted me to know how much God loves me.  And she embraced me again. She continued to hold me gently and reiterated God’s love, again. She said “God has great plans for you, and for your family.” 

It was such a gift—both the hug and the affirmations, but also her faithfulness and willingness to heed God’s guiding.  She could have just given me a quick embrace, or ignored that nudge entirely, but instead, she listened to what God was instructing her to do…not for her benefit, but for mine—a complete stranger.  And God gave me just what I needed…a hug full of affirmation and love for who I am and what God is doing in my life. 

Experiencing God: Feel the Heat

I’ve been thinking a lot about the different ways I experience God, and I thought it would be good to write about it…to share the ways God can (and is) tangible to us.  I will preface by saying, I was raised in the church, a traditional United MethodistChurch, which is to say, we didn’t really talk about how we might “feel” God.  We believe God is real. We believe in the traditional doctrines (you can get a sense of those from the Apostle’sCreed).  We believe Christians are to live their faith and to become more like Christ as they do that.  And, in practice, we were “reverent” (read: quiet, well-mannered, didn’t clap in worship, didn’t speak out of turn, etc).  And in that tradition, my faith grew. I learned the stories of the Bible. I learned to care for others (even if I didn’t like them). I learned generosity. I learned selflessness.  I learned to pray.  And I learned to have a “thinking faith” where it was ok to ask questions, to have doubts, and to explore the historicity of the Bible and how that converges with faith.  

But what I didn’t really learn is how you “feel” God.  I think the closest tangible expression of God that I might have asserted is feeling peace in difficult circumstances.  But as I grew and developed in life and in faith, I started to learn that there were other ways, tangible ways, we could experience God.  God wasn’t just in our head or our hearts, but God is also around us in the form of the Holy Spirit and can be felt. 

The first time I remember experiencing this was at Santa Paula UMC.  It was a bilingual congregation and my brother (a UM pastor) had been asked to preach.  He had some Spanish, but not really enough to do a full sermon. So, he asked me to do the translation since I had just finished a full year of study abroad and came back bilingual.  Before the service, our mom came and talked with us and offered to pray for us.  She put a hand on each of us and began to pray…and her hands were hot on our backs/shoulders.  She wasn’t feverish, and to touch her hands in general, she wasn’t hot, but as she prayed, heat transferred to us. And I understood that heat to be the presence of the Holy Spirit. God could be felt…tangibly, physically. 

It was a small thing, heat during a prayer, but it became a big deal…an entry point for the other ways God would become manifest in me and in others confirming the power and presence of the Living God.