Monday, March 16, 2009

A godly man

I've known for awhile that I wanted to date a Christian man. I wanted someone who would help me grow in my faith, where I wouldn't have to be the "spiritual leader" simply because I am a pastor. I wanted someone who was not just Christian, but a faithful disciple.

I had an ideal in my head of what I wanted, but based on prior experience was not quite convinced I would ever encounter what I really wanted. I even asked a friend/mentor if it was fair of me to place such a high standard upon a potential partner (especially if I didn't want to marry another pastor).

Well as luck (or providence) would have it, I (re) met such a man. Early on in our relationship I expressed that I wanted us to pray (beyond mealtime prayers) together at least once a week...he said ok. He didn't balk. He didn't shy away. (I was stunned, I've dated pastors who were reluctant to pray with me even during a crisis....and here was this man who was ready and willing). He prays both with me and for me. He prays publically, on the spot, extemporaneously, any time front of my family, in front of my parishioners, in front of my friends and it's fabulous.

We also made a commitment to go to worship together. Both of us lead worship, I as a pastor, he as a worship leader and we had been to each other's church, but we can't worship together in either of those settings, so we decided we go to a night service at some other church. And we do and it's been good. It's nice to be able to be in worship first off, and nice to be able to talk about the service or the sermon or what we could incorporate in our own ministries or otherwise.

He is also good about sending me Scripture and even us doing devotions together, which is fabulous. It's nice to date a man with similar convictions and who places God and church and discipleship high on the priority list.

His faithfulness is attractive me. Strangely I've imagined us talking to teenagers about dating and relationships and have imagined myself telling the guys that being faithful disciples will help them win over the ladies....not the right motivation for discipleship, but true nonetheless.

It's nice to be with a godly man, and I feel like we are able to connect at a greater depth because of our faith. I'm not sure this is a fair assessment, but I feel like if we each have a measured depth to our relationship with God, that is the depth to which we can connect to each other.

Let me try and explain. Say my God depth were 20 and his were 30 (or vice versa), we can only go to 20 because that's as far as my depth goes. Or if we were both at 5, we can only connect to that level, but if we both make it 100 in our relationship with God, then we have the potential of making it to that depth in our own relationship.

Maybe that can't be applied universally, but it works for us, at least in my mind.

All of that is to say I appreciate him and his faith and that we can share that, and I have no idea where I'd be if I couldn't share my faith with my partner or if we didn't connect at the same depth. It's nice to be able to pray, and read, and talk together, and even better to be able to share ministry together. He stepped in as a last minute small group leader for our Lenten studies since I already have a class and hadn't planned well to have someone else teach. He just stepped in and took care of the first week and then volunteered to take care of the rest of Lent too, he's even doing it while I'm away on a mission trip!! How cool is that?!?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

God of children

Blessed God of children,

who first loves those who are weak
who hurts when they hurt
and hungers when they hunger
Help us to be prayerful
not just in our thoughts and words
but in our actions
that we may not have generalized prayers for food
but will feed those who are hungry
that they might go to bed with a full belly
god, you have blessed us so abundantly--
help us to bless as well
You say you will provide and sometimes we forget
you provide through us Lord
Open our hearts to the pain in this world
and our eyes to recognize the need in your world
that we might do our part
doing unto that one child
as we would have them do unto us
and loving them
as you have loved us
that we might honor you through our actions
For the health and welfare of children everywhere.

Trust in hardship

The Lord will see me through
She is my comfort
my consoler
She is strong
the rock of my foundation
The Lord is my shepherd
she watches over me
she provides for me
a hot meal
a warm bed
a loving family
friends who respond in my days of need
turn to the Lord in prayer
and see what you encounter there
Gracious God
Lift me up
Hold me close and comfort me
Amazing woman of grace
give my soul peace

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Fight of Depression

Gray Murky Mud
straw sipping breaths
dark blanket weighted
sleepy dreary loneliness
missing hug
no welcoming voice
frustrated tears
missed friends
wishing for something different
I want the old days
De Neve
Loving people
Busyness to avoid the sadness
I know it ends
and yet in its midst
the darkness and sadness seem endless
is there a light at the end of this blurry
misty, suffocating tunnel?

Friday, March 13, 2009

For our leaders

Lord God, I pray for those who lead--those who are administrators, financial decision makers, government officials, sports authorities, teachers, presidents, pastors, community leaders, and community organizers.

I pray for those who lead in unhealthy ways--God, I pray that they might find you and draw near to you--recognizing their power and influence.

For those who lead gangs, prostitution rings, the mob, the mafia, drug cartells, and drug dealers--those who betray people, hurt them, use them, and abuse them--change their hearts O God. Help them see how much good can be done, ,how much hope can be shared, adn how much better life is when we turn it over to you.

Be particularly with those who lead our churches. Help them to be prophetic, to live with integrity, to live a life worth imitating. Free them from temptation and sin that they might be honored leaders in their community and that they might have the best impact possible on the people they lead.

Guide each of us O Lord. Help us to be faithful and humble. Defeat our pride. Guide our steps and help us to live the example you have given us in Jesus.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Some fodder

Lacking other inspiration, I decided to pull from some old journals. In the coming days you may find prayers, poems, or random thoughts, in addition to new material if I'm inspired.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

non-news and big news

I know it's been awhile since I posted, and I keep thinking I should get back into the habit of writing and keep hoping for some brilliant piece of inspiration or insight to share with you, but that simply hasn't happened.

There are plenty of quirky things happening in life lately, but they aren't really appropriate to share with the entire world-wide-web. I've considered making the blog private, but am not sure I want to do that either...

not really a conundrum....more of a stalwart. There's also the problem where I feel like life is a spin cycle right now and I just keep going and going and going and don't have enough down time to allow any kind of creativity to sneak into my head space.

But then today I realized there is some rather major news that I haven't posted, and figured after all my whining about the paper writing, it was only fair to share that:


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Quote of the day

"If it's between the Lakers and you, I will choose you....95% of the time..." --RS