Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Feeling inept

I'm good at things.  I'm good at a lot of things actually.  I'm a fairly competent person and those things I don't know how to do, I can typically learn.  (or I just avoid them so no one will actually realize the limits of my abilities.) But these last couple of weeks at work have left me feeling inept--not completely, just partially. 

I am struggling with how to articulate new concepts to "old dogs".  I am really struggling with knowing I need/want someone(s) to do something differently, but have no idea how to teach them how to do it differently.  I just want them to know already!!!  

I feel like I'm hitting my head against a wall and not making progress, like I've maxed out my abilities and should simply move on.  I know that's not how it works. I know that's not how I will grow.  I know that the only way I will ever know how to deal with such things is to learn how to deal with them now.  It just seems like the bell curve got awfully steep again.  

Strike that, I don't think there is anything resembling a bell curve for me, maybe more like mesa flats...

crazy steep ascent...fairly banal long walk across the top to lull you into thinking you're good, and then an easy high speed drop back to the bottom that convinces you are invincible and can do anything...

...until, of course, you come face to face with the next sheer climb straight up.

Yep, that sounds more like it. No bell curves for me..just mesa flats!


David said...

At a workshop I was in recently, they reminded us that if we are going to ask the congregation to change, or anyone else for that matter, we need to change at least one thing about ourselves first. One might imagine, that following such an experience, a time for reflecting on how you came to be able to make that change would be valuable as well

johnsue said...

How did your brother become such a wise old sage? and MY brother become an old man! Hmmm what does that say about me? your old mom