All in my head

I'm a really good runner.  In my head anyway.  I've known for a couple of months now that I wanted to do the LLS 1/2 marathon in January and that the official training starts in September. Not being a regular runner (who am I kidding a runner of any sort), I thought I should pre-train before the training.  (Sort of like pre-cleaning before someone else comes to clean your house).  I've been thinking that for 2 months now, really almost 3.  I should run.  But in my head, I'm in great shape. In my head getting out and running 3-5 miles is a cinch and getting up to 13 will be no problem at all.  That's in my head.  

Today, I pushed myself out the door to put my money where my mouth is and I got out to run.  I walked a bit with Rick and Ruth and then they headed back to the house and then I went to run and basically I did fartleks (run, walk, run) and fared ok for my 1.5 run walk.  I ran it (and walked it) and I did it.  But in reality, I am not what I am in my head.  I am not a good runner. I'm really not a runner at all. It takes persistence and focus and a ton of emotional and mental effort to get out and do it.  But today I did it.  Running a mile really isn't much. And for my age and health I should be able to do a lot more. But I don't do it and so I can't just pick up and do more.  

But I had to start somewhere. So I started with a mile and hopefully the next will be better and further and more running and less walking.  

It's a good discipline for me. It's something I can do, but I have to put my mind to it. I have to be intentional and dedicated and willing to sacrifice what's comfortable or normal to make it happen.  And that's what a discipline is.  And I have to (or get to) remind myself that that's how it started with the spiritual disciplines as well.  When I first started praying daily with intentionality, it cost me.  It took a lot of intentionalilty and focus. It did not come easily. I could not just pick up and pray and focus. My mind wandered to my to do list and my stressors, or I simply fell asleep.  I had to work at it for it to become comfortable and easy.  And I think this will be true for running too.  I will have to work at it. But if I can be dedicated enough to do it, it will come with practice.  

And frankly, even if I don't learn to love running, if I can stick with this it will be good for my body and will be good for LLS and helping to further the research.  And it'll be a good discipline to work on something that is asked of me and doing it even when I don't love it. 

Here's to the journey. Day 1 accomplished.