If you want my help

Let me just start by saying God is growing me so much as a parent. I am (slowly) becoming a better person day by day. And I'm learning a whole lot of humility, both from my failings as a parent and as I learn to re-image God.  

The other day Ruth wanted "3 Queen Elsa braids" in her hair. Now, she doesn't have enough hair for much, but she is content if I give her any kind of braid that make her feel like Elsa.  So, I sprayed and conditioned her hair and started to divide it into sections (at which point she normally likes to argue with me that she wants braids not pony tails...but if you do hair you know you have to do pony tails first to keep the sections separate).  I remind her she should trust me.  She said ok and then began to bend all the way forward.  

Sigh.

"Ruth, you need to sit up straight!"

"OKAY!"

I continued separating sections and then began braiding.  I don't remember exactly what she did next, but my response was "Ruth, if you want me to help you, you have to let me do it." 

Click in my brain. 

Ohh....it's another one of those  lessons.  If I want God to help me I have to let God do it...

Let's just say I'm about as cooperative as my almost-5 year old when it comes to asking God for help and then either staying out of the way or being an active (and helpful) participant in following God's direction.  I'm trying. I'm learning.  I'm definitely a work in progress.  

I just have to remember, if I ask for help, I need to let God do it!

Is it Time Yet?

As a parent, you see life differently. You gain perspective about people, attitudes, good behavior, bad behavior, excuses, love, acceptance, friendship and much much more.

As a theologian and a parent, I also garner new insights about God.  I've blogged before about finding sacred moments in time shared, particularly with a baby. But as my baby girl grows up, I'm learning a whole lot more about God. 

Often, I hear God's voice/attitude/perspective toward me as I speak to my own child.  (Though I always assume God is much more gracious than I.

This is a frequent conversation with my daughter (though the specifics often change form):

Me: Ruth, we are going to go to ______________ today after lunch. Think about what you might like to take with us.
Ruth: (3 minutes later, 62 items in hand) I'm ready!!
Me: Good job anticipating what you want.  But we aren't leaving until after lunch.
Ruth: But I'm ready now!
Me: That's great, but we can't go until after lunch...that's 3 hours away.
Ruth: (in teenage-esque protest) But mooooooom!
Me: Ruth, we can't go for awhile. You need to find something to do until then.

Then seemingly ever 2 to 5 minutes for the next 3 hours:

Ruth: Can we go now?  Is it time yet?  I'm ready to go! Why do we have to wait so long?!

I can't help but imagine God feels the same way about me sometimes.  There are things God tells me that God has in the works, and then I get excited about that and I'm ready to go, regardless of how long God indicated it might take.  I wrote the other day about my frustration in the midst of waiting.  In this time, God hasn't told me when things were going to happen, only to trust that God is at work.

And so I, much like Ruth, am regularly asking, "Is it time? Is it now?  What about now? Why do I have to wait so long?!" 

And to my impatience, God retorts, "I've told you I am working on things. I need to get things ready for us first.  You need to be patient.  It will happen."

And so I keep waiting...with all the patience of an almost 5 year old.  :)

Quote of the day

Ruth: I'm a bad kid
Me: No you're not.  You're the best kid!  You're my best kid!  And you know what's even now important than that? 
Ruth: What? 
Me: You're God's best kid and nothing can ever change that.  Nothing is more powerful than God.