Monday, June 1, 2009

Now I know why people elope

Long ago, before I was engaged or even dating a reasonable prospect, I was offered close to $10,000 if I just eloped when I finally decided to get married.  While the $10,000 sounded nice, the idea was way too far fetched to even consider.  I have always wanted to have lots of friends and family at my wedding, and taking 2 people (plus my parents since they'd freak if I got married without them there) to Vegas for an Elvis wedding just didn't seem reasonable (or even desirable).
Now, after skimming a few books, outlining the guest list, and beginning the bride's workbook, I'm ready to consider it!  There are so many details.  So many things to consider.  And they seem to think that most people will take a year to plan, so they put everything on a 12 month schedule...well, if you're starting out and only have 6 months to plan a wedding, that puts you 6 months behind on your reservations and taste testing and sizing and God knows what else, which can make a detail-oriented bride a little bit nuts.  

I'm only 3 days in on actual planning and am super overwhelmed.  We found a venue, but seating is limited, so that means we have to limit the guest list, which is a serious stressor. But if we go with them, not only do we not have to go hunt down other venues, but the catering and the serving, and the set up, and the chairs and tables, and the linens, and the parking are all already included, which sounds really nice to me.  Because I am not super stoked about the idea of having to try different caterers, different cake makers, different chair companies, different linen companies, and up'ing all those costs by $1500-$3000 since the current place is not only nice but super affordable.  

So the question becomes, which is more important:  cost and location or number of guests (i.e., inviting everyone you want to have included)???

1 comment:

molly said...

My only advice is to not worry to much, or spend too much time with books, websites, magazines or people who want to tell you what to do.

(Recognizing, of course, that this compromises the authority of my advice...) ;)

I believe that weddings will take as much time was you give them. Six months can be plenty. And there are lots of good choices, so make ones that feel good to you both, and don't spend too much time wondering if there are better ones out there. (I mean really: what wedding food have you eaten that was wonderfully memorable? Mostly what's affordable is not spectacularly remarkable, so get something you like and don't feel like you need to explore all the options.)

Being a pastor, I chose to have a big wedding with an open invitation, and cake and punch afterwards at the church; later that day we had a smaller reception for close friends and family, catered by one of Matt's family's favorite local restaurants. I had a hook-up on the church site and reception (a backyard), which helped 3 months be enough time to plan.

Oh, and we had a potluck party back in Nebraska. :) (That options hardly ever included in wedding guides.)

I guess what I mean to say is that I think weddings are most fun when they feel kinda right for the people getting married, rather than when they look like they match some generic standard of wedding excellence.