Saturday, January 11, 2014

Then one day

From the beginning of this journey, I have had the thought, "I'm not a runner, why am I doing this?!" run through my head during most of my training.  I have struggled with the workouts, partly in a physical sense, but mostly in a psychological sense.  I'm not a runner.  At least, I wasn't.  I wasn't a runner.  Not in high school when I "ran" track. Not in college or seminary or afterward. I wasn't a runner. I wasn't a runner when I signed up to run a half marathon, which seems crazy in and of itself. I mean, why run a half marathon if you're not a runner?!?!  The truthful answer is, I signed up to run to raise money for a cause and work toward a cure for leukemia and lymphoma (which also, by default, has a way of helping with a cure for other cancers too...).  I was inspired by Kathleen Stout and her struggle as we as her victory and the statistics that changed so dramatically to offer life instead of death to those with a blood cancer diagnosis.  So I signed up. I didn't sign up for the running. I signed up to be challenged and to do the fundraising and work for something beyond myself. 

Only, the thing that happened with all that running and training and such was that somehow in the midst of it, I became a runner.  There wasn't some glorified Hollywood moment when I took off like Jackie Joyner Kersee.  It just happened, subtly and unannounced.  One training I was fighting the constant thought, "I'm not a runner" and then somehow on the next I wasn't.  And somehow when it came to running 12 miles, I was undaunted, excited even.  And then the next week when we ran 6 miles, I said, "We only ran 6 this week."  ONLY being the operative word.  Only 6?!?  Who says that?  Runners do.  Runners who do much greater distances and see 6 as a reprieve say "only 6".  And that's when I knew for sure. I'm now a runner.