Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What has worked

While the blogging every day idea did not work for a Lenten discipline, there is one that has.  Another one of the ideas I had for this period of Lent was to give up asking R about money issues.  

Of all the places where we could be different as husband and wife, money management seems to be the most pronounced.  We are a good example of ying and yang--a spender and a saver.  He tends to be the spender, I tend to be the saver.  

Being the person I am, I can be both a bit of a penny pincher and a bit compulsive in tracking spending (not totally useless in their own right, but not always the most productive for building trust and confidence in marital bliss).  And, because my husband is self-employed, the "steady income" is based on his customers paying and paying on time, which unfortunately doesn't always happen. 

As a consequence, R sometimes often gets struck by a maelstrom of inquisition about who paid and where money is going, etc, etc, etc.  

In an attempt to be a little less neurotic, and much more supportive, I decided to fast from my obsessive questioning.  I don't ask about who has and hasn't paid. I don't ask about how much was spent at this store or that store. And I trust (work on trusting?) that he will tell me if something big pops up that I should know about. 

It may sound simple, but it definitely requires discipline on my part. And hopefully in drawing near to my husband this Lent, I am also more fully able to receive the love he has to give, which in turn teaches me about God's love for me.

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