If you want my help

Let me just start by saying God is growing me so much as a parent. I am (slowly) becoming a better person day by day. And I'm learning a whole lot of humility, both from my failings as a parent and as I learn to re-image God.  

The other day Ruth wanted "3 Queen Elsa braids" in her hair. Now, she doesn't have enough hair for much, but she is content if I give her any kind of braid that make her feel like Elsa.  So, I sprayed and conditioned her hair and started to divide it into sections (at which point she normally likes to argue with me that she wants braids not pony tails...but if you do hair you know you have to do pony tails first to keep the sections separate).  I remind her she should trust me.  She said ok and then began to bend all the way forward.  

Sigh.

"Ruth, you need to sit up straight!"

"OKAY!"

I continued separating sections and then began braiding.  I don't remember exactly what she did next, but my response was "Ruth, if you want me to help you, you have to let me do it." 

Click in my brain. 

Ohh....it's another one of those  lessons.  If I want God to help me I have to let God do it...

Let's just say I'm about as cooperative as my almost-5 year old when it comes to asking God for help and then either staying out of the way or being an active (and helpful) participant in following God's direction.  I'm trying. I'm learning.  I'm definitely a work in progress.  

I just have to remember, if I ask for help, I need to let God do it!

Thank you notes

When I was young, I was taught to write thank you notes for any gift I received.  From about the time I could write, my parents would make sure I sat to write my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and others for their gifts. 

In ministry, writing thank you notes has been huge.  I try to take time to write thank yous for meals, special gifts, thoughtful touches, and the time and energy people put into the life and ministry of the church. 

However, aside from giving statements for individuals or collective acknowledgements for special offerings, I was not taught to thank givers of the church.  It sounds ridiculous even as I type it, but money has been "one of those things" and I just assumed people gave for the reasons they gave and their thanks came from God. 

This year, we hired a coach and he has been working with me on all kinds of things that pertain to ministry, stewardship being only one of them.  I regularly send emails with questions and he responds from his wisdom and experience. 

I will say I was not prepared for the schooling he gave me/us. 

here is one exchange:

1) Do we call or send thank you cards on pledged special gifts? 

[The coach] replies:  You should have finance person alert you anytime:

1. A person INCREASES their pledge unsolicited.

2. A person decreases their pledged giving

3. An additional donation is made OF ANY AMOUNT

4. The first time anyone identifies themselves as giving financially to the church (vs. anonymously).

When you are alerted about #1,#, or #4,  send a hand written thank you note.  In the case of # 2, meet personally with this person and begin conversation something like this, “Its come to my attention that your giving has decreased.  As your pastor is there something that’s happened that I need to know about?"

2) If so, what is the threshold amount? $1000, $2500, $5000? 

[The coach] replies: ANY TIME.  Size does not matter.

3) A gift may be "large" to one giver but not to another...in other words, for one person, giving $500 might be "huge" whereas another doesn't hit "huge" until $5000 or even $15000...how do we honor both the gift and the giver understanding that it's not just the size of the gift that counts?

[The coach] replies: You thank them.

Now, it makes perfect sense to thank someone, I just didn't realize it should happen so personally and so often for tithing.  For extra gifts, above a pledge, I have started making thank you calls and sending notes.  For our capital campaign (which is drawing to a close) I am sending individual, hand written thank you notes to those who have given a one time gift and those who have completed their pledge. All who give will receive a personal note from me at the end, regardless of whether or not a pledge was completed.  

I have written notes and called for special asks that I have made for special projects and now am sending notes to those who have begun (seemingly) a tithing pattern to the church.  

I am grateful. We couldn't do ministry without the faithful giving of those who support these ministries.  I am now regretful and embarrassed that I didn't know to do this sooner. I always left it to the finance secretary except in the case of special gifts.  So, here is my learning, in case it is of help to you and your ministry.