Preparing to #Leap (kid part 1)

When I prepared to #leap, I was very aware that it wasn't just me who was moving and transitioning, it was also my husband and my daughter.  When I started at my first two churches, I was single. Starting at a new place with a spouse and a child promised to be a very different thing.  

This is part 1 in a 3 part series:

When I met with the outgoing pastor, we talked about a lot of things.  We had an initial phone conversation that lasted about an hour and a half.  Then a face to face that was nearly 5 hours.  Multiple email exchanges and then about another hour to hour and a half at annual conference.  We did a good bit of talking before the transition. At some points it felt like way too much information and at others it felt like we had only scratched the surface.  We covered church history, leadership, vision, staffing, and finances.  We also covered a multitude of questions I had both as I thought my new place and things I wanted the incoming pastor to know for the place I was leaving.  Some of my questions were related to theory and some were more pragmatic.  

I remember one in particular because I was taken aback by the answer.  I asked, “So, on a Sunday morning, if you need help with your kids, who do you turn to?”  He asked, “What do you mean?”  It seemed like a straightforward and simple question to me, but I did my best to clarify, “I mean, say your wife is sick and you have the girls before worship and you need to do something, who helps with the kids?”  His response, “That’s never happened.”  Now, that may be the luxury of having a stay at home wife, or of being a man, or of some other weird quirk in the universe, whatever the case, I don’t really know how to explain it, or even understand it.  

I am the mother of a three year old, a well-behaved, intelligent, articulate, church-accustomed 3 year old and I can’t even imagine a world where needing help with her on a Sunday morning “has never happened.” From sick days, to tantrums, to unexpected counseling, to regular post-worship conversations, to diaper blow outs, to extended naps, I have had many occasions to need reinforcements.  And, at my last church, the one where I announced my pregnancy and shared my first months with my first born, I had a whole village of support and care.  No matter what the event, there always would have been someone to help with her.  Someone would have taken her at her best and in a screaming fit to help me do my job.  They were our church, but more importantly, they were her village.  They helped us raise our daughter, from time in the office, to time in the nursery, to babysitting at our house when I had Bible study or we had an emergency, they were there and I had a list of folks I could call on.

So, when I was anticipating a transition, I thought a lot about who I might turn to. Who would be there to help? Who would not mind taking a screaming child out of worship? Who could stay late to keep her entertained while I did this that or the other?  This was a big deal for me.  I felt pretty sure I could take whatever the church could dish out, but I wasn’t sure how my young child who only knew one home and one church would fare without “her people.” 

Learning to #Leap

A few months ago I sat down with my District Superintendent (DS) to talk about ministry and transitions, including my recent move.  From the outside looking in, it was a big leap to go from a church of 130 to a church of 550.  Who am I kidding, from the inside it looked like a gigantic leap!  To be sure, there are some things about church that are universal and true wherever you go.  And, as I’ve been learning, there are some things that are very different in different size churches.  

After I was told of my new appointment, I spent a good bit of time talking with mentors and friends, particularly those of large churches, about what is different, what to expect, and how best to lead.  One in particular who had grown his church from 70 to over 1200 in the years he was there was very clear, “The large church is not just a small church magnified. They are different.”  I took that wisdom with me when I went to the new place.  And I quickly learned I had no idea what that meant in real terms.  Each week I was faced with something new and something different.  I knew what I knew from before, but wasn’t always sure if what I knew from a medium church would fit with a large church.  I will be very honest that I have prayed a lot for God to cover my shortcomings. I’ve talked a lot with those who I trust to give me guidance and share their wisdom. And I’ve learned a lot. 

In my conversation with the DS he shared that he’s part of a planning team for a conference next fall called “Leap” that’s meant to train young leaders how to make the leap from a small or medium size church to a large one.  They will be calling on a variety of church leaders to teach, lead, and inspire.  He also said they will be looking for those who’ve experienced it recently to share their learnings.  He laughed a little and said it would be too late to help me, but I could help the next person.  

Since that conversation I’ve been noting things I’ve noticed, things I’ve learned, and things I wish I had known before I had taken the leap.  I will be sharing those musings here in the hope that they might be helpful.  Some things I’ve done well and other things I’ve fumbled a bit.  And, of course, there’s a lot I’m still learning. 

Back from Hiatus (maybe)

I was looking at my blog the other day searching for a former post and realized it had been months since I last posted.  I sort of fell of the face of the earth as we tied things up at my last appointment and transitioned to life and ministry in a new town with new people.

Change and transition are hard.  Most anyone will tell you that, and it has been no exception for us (even though we are people who like to bring and experience change).  In the transition things are busy and it's hard to find time to write.  It's also emotional and there's the inclination to purge emotionally posting about anything and everything, which isn't a practice I advocate in general. So, instead, in many ways I've held my tongue.

As I get adjusted and things begin to balance, I find myself wanting to reflect and write.  And I am drawn back to this venue to do just that.  So, here is my first step.  We'll see if I can keep up the discipline for more.