Mule Country

Maybe it’s a product of growing up in the Mule Capitol of the World, but I definitely have some mule-like qualities. For those who don’t know their mule facts—one of the most basic is that they are unbelievably stubborn. If you know me well, you’re probably thinking—“I know where this is going.” And you would probably be right. Case in point, this last week at conference I had a fellow pastor approach me after a luncheon. He and I had met about 6 weeks ago at the District meeting and have seen each other in passing a few times since. After the luncheon he said, “I know how difficult it is to be a pastor, how hard it is for all of us. And for you, as one of the few (fewer than 17) young adult clergy, I want to be as supportive as possible. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. If it’s talking to someone who hardly knows you or if you need a Starbucks’ card, just give me a call and let me know.” I was overwhelmed at his offer. While I hardly know the man, he is one of those that resonates with me for whatever reason. He has the kind of spirit I feel I can trust without reservation. And then the mule in me rears her head! As desperately as I have wanted and needed such support over the last year, I know myself and know it would have to be REALLY bad before I would call. On one level, that’s not the way I want it to be—I would love to be able to have the support and encouragement he was offering. On the other level not asking for help (a.k.a. asking for/receiving grace) is probably one of my larger sins. I can be a real bruta in this regard. Only a few months ago I was in a spiritual and emotional desert—I was pretty close to bottom and at random a retired clergy friend of mine called. He and his wife had been at a retired clergy meeting (where they had found my name on the retired clergy list) and one of the things that was highlighted at the meeting was the high “drop-out” rate for young clergy (especially women). He and his wife were alarmed at the statistic and hated to think that something similar might happen with me. So they were calling to offer support—for me to tell them if there was anything they could do for me. I stood there, tears streaming down my cheeks, and could not muster one ounce of courage to tell him how badly I was hurting, how desperately I needed their support as listening ears for the trials and pain I was experiencing.

I realize I should make it a goal to ask for help more often and to not wait so long in doing so. (Ask me how excited I am to make such a change)! As I sit here typing, my little girl is looking at me quivering, ready for my nod of approval for her to approach and get her dose of “lovin”. She is so uninhibited in her petitions. If she wants some love and attention, she walks over and gets it. Sometimes she waits for the nod and sometimes she whimpers until I attend to her needs. Maybe the lesson I need to learn begins here with my pooch—maybe everything I need to learn will come from my dog! (She can re-train me from what the mules taught).

All Fired Up (the translation)

This last week we had the Cal-Pac Annual Conference. For 5 days we had meetings, decisions, fellowship and the like. Saturday, we had a reunion of LAMAG, and there we talked about the sale of our (Latina) churches. The DS was there to answer questions and attend to concerns. What became clear was that those who made the decision (I don’t know who they were) had not consulted with any caucus or Latino ministry group. And from there things went down hill. Well, they talked and decided to meet again that night so they could finish their discussion. But, at the same all (or at least some) of the “demons” (complaints, conflicts, etc) that exist between folks came out. I know there isn’t any group that will not have problems—it’s a fact of our reality, but at the same time, some of the problems that exist could be resolved without much effort (for example, having a meeting2 months before conference to discuss what will happen at conference—the resolutions, rules, etc; looking for a common vision, etc.). It seems to me there is no “group think” taking place—in other words, there isn’t a group of people that gets together to think and plan things that have to do with Latino ministries. And believe me when I say, THERE IS A NEED. We need to be more united in who we are, more united in our vision, and not be left each to him/herself—we need the strength of unity and right now we don’t have it.
It seems to me we are waiting for someone to tell us: “Do this. Take care of that.” But, brothers and sisters, we don’t have that person and we can’t keep waiting for him/her. If there isn’t such a person, which there isn’t, then we have to do it ourselves. We can’t wait until the conference understands or until they have someone in front—it is us who need to lead, us who need to plan for the future. We have to do the work. And yes, many of us need more tools, but we also can’t keep waiting for someone to give them to us. We have to look for them, and then look for the teaching on how to use them, and then do the work. We are the ones who are called. We are the ones who have been blessed by God to do the work of Latino ministries, and others are looking to us for the example of how to do ministry with Latinos here in California (and Hawaii).

At the end of the day, we are not all going to have a church of 4000, but there is no reason why some of us can’t have one (that’s to say, that we can’t create one) and for the others, there is no reason why we can’t have a church of 300-500 people. We have the people and we have the gospel—and if we truly believe in the power of the Word, in the power of Christ, in the transformative power of an encounter with God—there is no reason why we can’t “achieve” more people for the Christian community. But first we have to believe in the power of the gospel, we have to believe it offers something to people (something different that you can’t find in any other place), believe that YES we can do the work as Methodists (without being Catholic or Pentecostal) and then set to work at sharing the gospel.

Period.

The Fuss about Young People

For awhile now the UMC has been worrying about the lack of young presence in the church. More recently still, the concern over the lack of clergy has also arisen. There is much talk about the need to find and support young folks who have a call to ministry. The emphasis often being "they are the future of the church." Then at our District meeting, an older, second-career clergy woman stood up and voiced her frustration at the constant concern for young people in the ministry. In a sense she was claiming "reverse ageism" (which seems to resemble notions of "reverse racism"). She felt excluded and ignored because of the focus on young ministers, of whom she is not feel a part.

In thinking through these issues for myself, while I am concerned at the lack of young clergy in our conference (and others), I don't believe it is for exactly the same reasons. (Though you may find my musings to be a mere matter of semantics). The two major concerns that I have heard are: 1) without young pastors, there is no future leadership for the church. 2) without young pastors to put into retirement plans, health care and the like, our church will go bankrupt trying to pay for the pensions and healthcare of all the "old and retired" clergy. I do not believe that either of these things should be the focus or main concern of our church regarding young people.

Regarding #1--if God wants future leadership for the church, God will continue to provide future leadership for the church--from whomever is around. If we were on a secluded island of only "old people" and God wanted there to be leadership, I believe God would provide said leadership--even out of the "old people". For me, age is not the determining factor in whom God chooses to fulfill the call to ministry. The future leadership of the church lies with all those whom God has called and equipped, regardless of age--retired ministers, second career pastors, and yes, youth and young adults as well.

Regarding #2--this reasoning is purely based in fear and scarcity, which makes it devoid of hope. And the concern for money, while understandable, is not where the focus of the church should be in the first place. As soon as we become consumed with the "lack of _________" and convinced of shortages, we have exchanged hope and faith, for fear and unbelief--neither of which are trademarks of the gospel we proclaim.

What I believe: the need for young people should not be based on either of the above reasons. The need to pursue and find young people with a call is because God does call us, at a variety of ages and the lack of their presence means either 1) we have failed to raise/train/teach our children, youth, and young adults in Christian discipleship--thus failing to produce "the pool of candidates" from which we might garner additional young leadership or 2) we are not hearing the calls placed on people's lives that they might respond to God in a faithful way and be encouraged by their brothers and sisters in the faith to pursue God's call. Either way, the crux of my concern is not for the future "lack of" but for the present where we are missing out on an opportunity to foster young leadership--leadership that has ALREADY heard God's call on their lives. To be really simplistic about this, if we boil things down to a matter of probability and statistics (yes, I know, not exactly the most profound or spiritual way of doing things)--I believe that God is probably calling, or has called, an equal number of folks from EACH generation. Yes, I did say it was simplistic, but if we go on that assumption alone, then we should find numbers proportionate to the demographics of our cities/states/etc. I would argue something similar to gender or race issues--I do not believe that more men are called than women, or more blacks than Latinos--rather that God shares the bounty of God's gifts and call across borders of age, race, gender, nationality, language, and yes, sexuality. Thus, when we see disproportionate numbers, we should attend to those areas not out of fear and scarcity but out of gratefulness and bounty (recognizing that God has probably ALREADY been at work in the lives of those folks and it our responsibility to gather around them and help them hear the call, clarify the call, and follow the call) for God is calling a whole host of people into the ministry to share the Good News in tangible and effective ways through ministries of compassion, justice, engagement, honesty, and faithfulness.

All Fired Up

La semana pasada tuvimos la conferencia anual de Cal-Pac. Estuvimos por unos 5 dias de reuniones, decisiones, companerismo, y lo demas. El sabado tuvimos una reunion de LAMAG, y alli discutimos la venta de una iglesia nuestra (es decir, Latina). Estuvo el superintendente para contestar la preguntas y atender a las preocupaciones. Lo que surgio fue que los que habian decidido (ni se quienes son) no habian consultado con ningun caucus ni grupo de los ministerios latinos. Y de alli, practicamente, se hundio la cosa. Bueno, platicaron y se pusieron de acuerdo para tener otra reunion por la noche donde podian discutir todo lo que habia por platicar. Pero, al mismo tiempo, todos (o por lo menos algunos) de los *demonios* (las quejas, los conflictos, etc) que hay entre la gente salieron. Yo se que no se va a encontrar a ningun grupo que no tenga problemas--esto es parte de la humanidad, pero al mismo tiempo, algunos de los problemas que habian se puede resolver sin mucho trabajo (por ejemplo, tener una reunion 2 meses antes de la conferencia anual para platicar las cosas que van a ver--las resoluciones, reglas etc., buscar la vision colectiva que tenemos...etc). Me parece que no hay un "group think" entre el grupo--es decir, no hay una massa de personas que se reune para pensar en y planear las cosas que tienen que ver con los ministerios latinos. Y creeme cuando digo: HACE FALTA. Necesitamos estar mas unidos en lo que somos, mas unidos en nuestra vision, y no ser dejados cada uno por si mismo hacer lo que sea--necesitamos la fuerza de la unidad y ahora no lo tenemos.

Me parece que estamos esperando a alguien que nos diga: "Haced esto. Cumplid con el otro." Pero hermanos y hermanas, no tenemos a esta persona y no podemos esperar mas tiempo. Si no hay, y no lo hay, tenemos que serlo nosotros. No podemos esperar a la conferencia hasta que entiendan los demas o que tengan a alguien en frente, somos nosotros los que necesitan guiar, ser los lideres, planear para el futuro. Tenemos que hacer el trabajo. Y claro, muchos necesitamos mas herramientas, pero tampoco podemos esperar hasta que alguien nos las de. Tenemos que buscarlos, buscar la ensenanza de como usarlas, y despues hacer el trabajo. Somos nosotros los llamados. Somos nosotros los que han sido bendecido por Dios para la obra de ministerios Latinos, y nos estan mirando a nosotros por el ejemplo de como hacer ministerio con los latinos aqui en California (y Hawaii).

A fin de cuentas, no todos vamos a tener una iglesia de 4000, pero no hay razon que unos cuantos no la tienen (es decir, que no la hagan...) y para los demas, no hay razon por no tener una iglesia de 300-500 personas. Tenemos la gente, y tenemos al evangelio--y si de verdad confiamos en el poder de la palabra, el poder de Cristo, el poder de la transformacion de un encuentro con Dios--no hay razon por lo cual no podemos lograr mas gente para la comunidad cristiana. Pero tenemos primero que creer en el poder del evangelio, creer que ofrece algo a la gente (y algo diferente que no se puede lograr en otra parte), creer que SI podemos nosotros hacer la obra como metodistas (sin ser catolicos ni pentecostales) y importarnos por el trabajo de compartirlo.

Punto.

Special Needs

Today as I was walking to worship after breakfast I passed a woman who had a note attached to her nametag. It read, “Special Needs”. Now, I understand why she has it, she had a knee brace and probably needs help with issues of accessibility around the campus, and the disability group wants others to be aware of the need to heed her requests for a seat, a ramp, an arm, whatever, and to offer help. And yet I couldn’t help but cringe at how she was “marked” as different--“special” but not necessarily in a good way. And I was reminded of how we so often want to mark others as different or special: “He’s the new guy.” “She’s never been here before; she doesn’t know better.” However it is that we choose to mark people—sure, in some ways, those markers help us attend to their needs, to pay attention to how our own actions affect theirs, and yet at the same time, we are distinguishing, separating, and in some ways, alienating those same people.

Unfortunately, today I don’t have a “good alternative” to suggest. The only thing of importance from this is my added awareness about these issues, and hopefully a dose of awareness for you as well.

Safe Sanctuary

Last night during the Bishop’s sermon, she underscored how we as a conference “conference” in the sanctuary at Redlands. The Annual Conference coordinators have tried for other venues—stadiums, conference centers, etc, but we want to be “here” in this sanctuary. We are church people and we want to be reminded of that during our holy conferencing. And, for me, part of being in a sanctuary is its safety. Sanctuary is a time to be yourself, to be open, honest, vulnerable, and willing to be changed by and for the sake of the gospel.
Earlier in the day as we went through the various votes in clergy session, followed by a prayer for each group on whom we had just voted, I thought how bland those prayers felt, just another motion to go through as we made our way through the agenda. I was saddened by the lack of importance the prayers seemed to hold. People continued in their conversations, looked around the room (obviously I, too, was guilty of this for I witnessed the others), filled our forms, or flipped through papers. The business and “worship” were so mixed that they were virtually indistinguishable (and not in a good way). In that I was reminded of the importance of our offerings (prayer, song, silence, clap) to God and how they should not be so trivial in our work as the church, in our hours and hours of conferencing. And what stayed with me was not how we need to reshape how we worship so that it stands out in conferencing, but rather, how we need to reshape conferencing so that it is an integral and faithful part of our worship to God as a Christian Community.
Then, at the close of clergy session, a suggestion was made, a judicial council decision which overrules the suggestion was cited, and then the safe space of our conferencing sanctuary was violated. Blame was laid where it did not belong and the sanctuary was no more. I was deeply saddened by this violation of sacred trust. And I think that it was facilitated by how we fail to remember how conferencing is part of worship rather than how worship is just another part of conferencing. We have come to distinguishing casting votes, attending to business, (re)creating rules/laws and what we do prayerfully, graciously, mercifully, and compassionately as the people of God gathered together for the betterment of the “Kin-dom” of God.

The Sure Sign I'm Working TOO Much:

Regularly I think "I'm not getting enough done." And, as is typical in my profession, even when I get all 25 items on my to-do list finished, there is more to be done. As someone who likes to produce, accomplish, and finish--the endless cycle of things to do does not always bode well for me. But the surest sign that I am working too much is when on my sabbath day I spend the wee hours of the morning trying desperately NOT to think of work things. "Don't think about work. Don't think about work. Don't think about work." was becoming my mantra this morning. Now, one might be tempted to say/do (as I often am), "Well, if I just get X, Y, Z done THEN I can enjoy the rest of my sabbath." For the record, I would whole-heartedly claim that assertion to be FALSE! My experience is that as soon as you give into the work bug on your day off, that train pulls out of the station and is off and running like a locamotive, no chance of getting it to stop. Period.

Now, I say that the mania of constantly being plagued by work ideas is an indicator that I am working too much, because when I follow my general work rules (only working 8 hours a day--6 days a week, making sure I take time for myself during the day, etc) then generally my sabbath is a carefree day where I can just relax and enjoy myself, reading, loafing, watching movies, walking, hiking, painting, whatever really. But when I "work, work, work" then slowing my working brain down becomes tediously difficult. Really, really, frustrating!!

Stranger than fiction

As I wrote my "Dentist Take 2" musings, I went to find another teeth picture I could use. In the process, I ran across this website proclaiming "gold miracles". Ever the skeptic, I can't help but roll my eyes. But I'll let you judge for yourself. Here's a taste to spark your appetite:

Gold teeth were reported there from an early date. It's also reported that in El Salvador there was a "half-hour clap-offering to the Lord" after which "a kind of gold cloud came down upon the stadium". The woman who sparked off the current gold-dust manifestation comes from Brazil. She dusts "holy dust" like dandruff out of her hair and her pastor collects it and uses it to anoint the sick.

**please note, I did not read the webpage in its entirety, only enough to hear of the gold miracles and see a few examples...

The Dentist Take 2

About a week ago, I wrote about my visit to the dentist (after two years) and how there were great similarities to the spiritual walk in my mind. Well, yesterday I got to go in again. I didn't have a dental emergency, rather the hygentist from last time said she'd like to see me back in a couple of weeks after the swelling in my gums went down so she could finish the cleaning. greaaaat. another day of scraping and bleeding. My favorite. They were booked, so instead of booking the appointment, the office put me on a list to call in case of cancellations. Well, yesterday was the lucky day. I went in and she (a different woman) went right to work. Scraping and cleaning, and then polishing. The whole time I was thinking--dang, this is messed up. I take good care of my teeth, do what I'm supposed to do (I've even started flossing DAILY, a first in my life, since my last visit), and there is still stuff for her to scrape away just a month after my last visit. Man. My last post still fresh in my mind, I also kept thinking about how I might blog about the continued similarities.

So, here it is: like I said before, the scraping is a necessary part of our spiritual health. Even when we are the most faithful of brushers, plaque builds up--similarly, even the most faithful disciples/believers end up with "build up". It just is what it is. Follow the daily regimine just as prescribed and you will still have plaque. There will still be that junk that builds up, and it must be attended to, a professional has to be allowed to look, examine, clean, and scrape.

Spiritually speaking, from a Christian perspective, the ultimate cleaning happens through baptism and then communion. These practices do the scrubbing and the polishing for us--but we too must work to maintain the clean, and if we have gone a long while between "cleanings" then the cleaning/scraping process might just cause a bit of swelling, meaning we won't be able to get it all that first time around. And even as the "plaque" is scraped away, we might bleed a bit--it is not guaranteed to be painless--though it is guaranteed to lead you to better health--but even that is dependent upon your daily care, your eating habits, and sometimes even your overall physical wellness. In other words, none of this happens in a vacuum. The professional cleanings alone can't cut it, nor can your daily habits of hygiene and good health. They must work in concert, and you must attend to both with faithfulness, regularity, and care.

Sometimes you just shake your head

Today while I was in the office, our volunteer, who had just called the Prayer tree folks, said that the prayer ministry was struggling, that people were taking their names off the list—they are too busy, don’t have enough time….who knows what the other reasons are. A little stunned, I sort of laughed—I asked, “and people wonder why our church isn’t growing?” I mean really, we are so concerned (seemingly anyway) about the vitality and welfare of our church, and yet we don’t have time to pray? We’ve gone from 20 or so on the prayer tree to maybe 10. Does this concern anyone else? I encouraged the volunteer to go ahead and reorganize the lists so that we don’t have just one person on a branch of the tree. I also turned to our secretary and said, “How about you put something in the bulletin, say we are reorganizing the prayer trees and we would like to add folks to the prayer ministry of our church, if people are interested, please submit name and phone number.” “I’ll get it in this week,” she quickly replied.

Meanwhile, across the pews in the “other” congregation, we continue to meet weekly for prayer. The same 4 folks and me, faithfully. We pray. We pray for each other, for those on the prayer chain, for our church, our ministries, our loved ones, our nation, and our world. We pray. We believe God changes things and responds to our petitions. And almost to underscore the discrepancy, I had shared with them at Bible study this morning (pre-talk with the volunteer) that I have been so grateful all week—Sunday we had 27 in worship, compared to the 6 that were there when I started a year ago! God is doing great things. And I am convinced it is in spite of me and my own efforts. We are growing, we are learning, we have hope, we have energy, we have new ministries. And I, along with the Bible study group, attribute that growth to prayer and to God’s answers.

So, my two thoughts for today:
1) Get on your knees and pray. It works!
2) (for those who pastor a church or lead a ministry, or run a non-profit, or just want significant change to happen at home or at work) get your people to pray. We should ALL always be able to find time to pray. For the success of our efforts, for them to truly not about us but beyond us, we must be founded in prayer, in God’s goodness and faithfulness.

End of sermon.

UMC on immigration

Commentary: Illegal immigrants are being dehumanized (UMNS) By the Rev. Humberto Casanova
The living situation for illegal immigrants in the United States is deteriorating every day in many respects. Many do not have adequate legal support in our judicial system. Without financial resources and with little understanding of English, they swarm the courts and assent to whatever judgment is imposed on them. The government is not assigning lawyers, and two-thirds of the 350,000 illegal immigration cases in 2006 were conducted "pro se." A typical case goes like this: An undocumented worker is called before the judge by a case number. An interpreter is instructed to ask the defendant if he or she has a lawyer. The immigrant answers "no" and, therefore, represents himself throughout the proceedings. The judge explains that the government doesn't see any legal basis for him to remain in the United States, and the immigrant is given three months to leave the country voluntarily. Moreover, immigrants are detained without bond and deported without appeal for minor infractions with a rage and intensity that baffles the mind. The system is not only attacking undocumented immigrants, but thousands of legal permanent residents are also deported for crimes considered misdemeanors under state law that don't impose jail time. One legal resident was returned to Cambodia for urinating in public. It is urgent for churches to provide legal assistance to immigrants to increase the possibility of a fair hearing and to plan a good defense. Experience shows that a third of cases with legal representation are successful. Especially painful are those cases in which children are separated from one or both parents because of an ineffective defense. For more on this story, log on to http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=2433457&ct=3938933.

United Methodist couple struggles as undocumented workers (UMNS) By Amanda Bachus
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (UMNS) - In many ways, Darwin and Perla Alvarez are a typical hard-working couple struggling to achieve the American dream. Darwin works on a construction crew hanging vinyl siding, while Perla cares for their 6- and-3-year-old daughters. Active in their local United Methodist Church, Darwin is a lay leader and occasionally steps into the pulpit to deliver the sermon. But unlike their U.S.-born neighbors, they live in constant fear they will be ripped from their home, sent back to lives of poverty, leaving their children orphans. Darwin and Perla and millions of other undocumented workers are hoping and praying the U.S. Congress will pass a compassionate comprehensive immigration law that takes family values into consideration. For more on this story, log on to http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=2433457&ct=3938305

U.S. Senate tackles immigration reform compromise (UMNS)By Kathy L. Gilbert
A comprehensive immigration reform bill in the U.S. Congress has sparked 108 amendments with a variety of outcomes that could dramatically affect the fate of at least 12 million undocumented workers in the United States. The Senate resumed debate on the bill June 4 and was expected to vote on the matter by June 8. The debate will focus on a bipartisan compromise agreement labeled a "grand bargain" during a May 17 announcement by Sens. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., and Jon Kyl, R-Ariz. The proposal (S. 1348) would legalize millions of unlawful immigrants, tighten border security and mandate that employers verify they are hiring legal workers. Conservative opponents say the compromise would reward between 12-20 million illegal aliens with amnesty and encourage legal immigration. Supporters say the bill, while not perfect, is a good starting point toward fixing an immigration policy that has long been broken. The United Methodist Board of Church and Society is among faith-based groups supporting the agreement as a starting framework - with some reservations about parts of the bill that apply to families. The denomination's social advocacy agency is urging United Methodists to support three family-based amendments in particular: the Mendendez-Hagel amendment delaying the family backlog cutoff date; the Clinton-Hagel amendment to designate minor children and spouses as immediate relatives of lawful permanent residents; and the Dodd-Hatch amendment, regarding foreign-born parents of U.S. citizens. For more on this story, log on to http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=2433457&ct=3934571.

ES on immigration bill

Having not followed the amendments to the current immigration bill as closely as I would have liked, I asked a friend of mine from seminary for his thoughts. I think he offers a pretty concrete and reflective perspective, so I thought I would share (the translated version):

The immigration law does not look good. You have to understand that even after all of the amendments about who can apply and request residency or citizenship—the resultant is staying on a waiting list almost indefinitely (remember that this lay looks at the individual, there are not family petitions, it eliminates immigration based on family ties, it’s through a point system that people are able to “win” immigration possibilities. This part of the law will be applied after securing the border (that which, obviously, will never happen). First, secure borders, then immigration. Additionally, you should know that the temporary worker program was cut from 400,000 (I believe annually) to 200,000, on the one hand this is far from the quota of requests that businesses (American) make, on on the other hand, it is a system of temporary workers who will be limited in their labor possibilities because they can only work for one employer. In actuality, this means that an employer can confiscate passports and documents and confine the workers to one inhumane place for living and working. As of now, there are not government workers who supervise the employers of temporary workers, which means that the employers can abuse the workers. They can’t leave their place of work, which in many cases is the same place where they live, they aren’t allowed to manage their own money, they can’t leave to go shopping, they eat what they are given, in a way it’s a new form of slavery. This situation will not improve under the new law. It’s rather complicated. I agree with those who say that this new law will create a permanent sub-class of workers who are poorly paid and abused.
On the other hand, it won’t stop immigration. Immigration is a problem of poverty. In fewer than ten years we will have a problem that is even worse.
The democrats don’t know what to do. In the beginning, they were firm on having a process that would be quick and clear toward citizenship; since they started with the restrictive amendments, which has almost completely eliminated the possibility for short term road to citizenship, their position has changed. The latino votes they hope to have from the millions who are legalized have gone up in smoke because the government will not be legalizing others—neither all of them, nor quickly. In that case, they will not get Latino votes in the short run for the democratic party. Now, they are trying to get the votes just for the next election. The sad thing is that they already lost Iraq and getting the troops out and it looks like they will lose with immigration as well. Kennedy has tried to maintain the minimum of the originally proposed bill. Though I could be mistaken. Latinos deserve something better. It seems to me that the majority of national Hispanic organizations are now against the law as it currently stands. I believe they are out of money to continue paying for professional lobbyists. The law does not represent family reunification, a road to citizenship or residency, and sets forth a complicated and limited program for guest workers.
This is what I can tell you for now. It’s not very encouraging. Hispanic people do not look well on a temporary worker’s permit for those who are here. As far as they can tell it’s a means of control so that the government can know who’s who and where they are so that later it’s easier to deport them—that’s because this permit is not connected to an authorization for permanent work. It’s safer to continue with things the way they are now.

Supporting the Cause

...Lymphoma and Leukemia cancer research that is. Three of my friends (one from college and 2 from seminary) are training for marathons/triathlons to support cancer research. Each is charged not only with the daunting (as I see it) task of getting fit to run 26 miles or to run/bike/swim (for far longer than I would ever dream!), but also each has to do fundraising for the cause. I encourage you, at the very least to take a look at their blogs to see what wonderful things they are finding in their journies, the amazing stories survivors and co-runners are sharing, and the inspiration of their commitment both to brutal exercise routines and to fighting cancer. And, if you have a little loose change in your wallet (even $10) think about giving to support a worthy cause--and a worthy woman!

http://runchairun.blogspot.com
http://runleslierun.blogspot.com
http://triathlonrachel.blogspot.com

Just because I liked it....

Quote of the Day

"A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't nececssarily want to go, but ought to be." --Rosalyn Carter

Breast Cancer Clicks

The Breast Cancer Site is trying to make June their breast cancer month. They have a donor who will give $20,000 if they get 6,000,000 clicks. With 21 days left they are only at 21%--take a minute and click, and then take another minute to encourage others to click, and make a difference!

Retooling

While we were in Mississippi doing Katrina rebuild work, I was on the drywall team. I think I mentioned that before. Anyway, while attending to the mudding aspect, our team lead, S, (a.k.a. “boss”) discovered that whoever had done the corners, prior to our arrival, had done a less than acceptable job. So the boss decided my dad and I would take care of the corners. That meant scraping off the “oops” areas and then redoing the corners with the cornering tool.
Have I mentioned that neither of us had mudded before? Neither of us had done corners before? Well, S showed us once how to do it and that was it. He was off and running to the other house. So we went ahead with what worked for us. Cornering was slow going when I worked solo, so we decided we’d team up at it. One of us would put up the mud and the other would use the cornering tool to scrape away and make it clean and neat. Dad decided he liked to mud better, which left me using the cornering tool. After a couple hours at it, we were doing fairly well and feeling pretty confident. We spent two and half days at this task—scraping and mudding and using the corner tool. I think I also mentioned before that we thought we were done before we had actually finished….so we had packed up everything and taken it over to the other house. Hence, the following day when the boss said we would be cornering again at house #1, we were without a tool. So, I made a call, told him we needed a corner tool along with some other tools and could he send them over? He did and we set to work finishing the mudding on the drywall we had hung.
Well, the first thing I noticed was they had brought a DIFFERENT tool than I had been using for the last couple days. I was frustrated. I had to hold my hand differently. I had to apply different pressure. It was awkward and I immediately went from an (amateur) expert to just another awkward amateur. Simply replacing one simple tool complicated the whole process and forced me to relearn everything I had been practicing.
Again, I’m now a trained theologian and simply couldn’t help myself. I started thinking about the parallels. I figure that when we give our congregations new songs, new prayers, new worship styles that it is similar to this experience of “retooling”. To those trained at using a variety of tools, the difference is hardly noticeable. But to those less familiar with a variety of the same tool—those who have been using the same tool for all of their work, the change is drastic. It takes them from expert to amateur in nothing flat. Our “veteran” congregants who felt comfortable and confident in their faith walk and spiritual disciplines now feel awkward, inadequate, and ill-equipped. No wonder people get flustered and frustrated with the changes we (the clergy) make to worship. We force them to feel “less than”, or stupid, or ill-trained, or whatever.
Now, let it be known that after a couple go’s with the new cornering tool, I was able to finish the corners just fine, and even went to the next house and felt even more confident and then could use either tool in my work. This, too, should be a lesson for the worshipping communities—we have to be willing to give it a go with the new tools we receive, to try and make them work, and then we can use EITHER one—in essence we become more adept, more capable, more trained, more able. So even though we passed through a time of “trial” in learning to use the “new thing”—we come out of it able to do even more, with greater confidence, and greater flexibility.

Quote of the Day

Most Christian men pray like wimps and brag like warriors. The truth is that real spiritual warriors are men who pray. --T.D. Jakes

The Dentist

A few weeks ago I went to the dentist for the first time in about 2 years. My dental coverage through the church finally came through and I was able to get in. The dentist was delighted with my teeth. Straight despite never having braces. No wisdom teeth to fret with. No cavities. “The easiest patient of the day.” Sweet. The dental hygienist, however, was not so delighted. She did not like having to deal with two years of plaque…not like I blame her. She was a fun and energetic woman, a professed Christian and we had a good time talking with one another. She is a PK (a.k.a. pastor’s kid) and was thrilled that I was so young and a pastor—she thought it would be great if I could come and talk to her women’s group. And despite her enthusiasm toward me, or maybe because of it, she was also firm about the whole flossing every day bit. LOL. I do my brushing regime, don’t get me wrong, my dental hygiene is good, just not big on the flossing thing, I’ve never gotten in the habit. But she dug around and scraped and was insistent that I floss and that I change the way I brush. She wanted me to start with the inside lower gum area and then move to the visible parts. I have heard the flossing bit, oh, every time I have visited the dentist, but never the brush inside bit. And because I liked her, I didn’t want to return not having done what she asked. I was ready to follow her instructions. Flossing every day (or two…) and starting on the inside lower gum. Check!
And being the theologian I am, I couldn’t help myself. I immediately started thinking of the parallels to the spiritual life. It dawned on me, I have always brushed the outside/visible part of my teeth first and more furiously—that’s the part people see. That’s the part they notice first. I don’t worry about the very back part of my last molar, and I have never even thought to worry about the inside lower gum. Not until the hygienist mentioned it that is. And more than that, I never would have known that I had ‘black tartar’ in the way back of my molars if I had not made myself vulnerable to the ‘experts’. Now for the parallel—I think our spiritual life often functions the same way. We take care of the visible parts—the parts people see (Sunday morning worship, mass, temple) maybe even the parts we feel something stuck in (daily prayer, mission) but then there are the “way back there” parts—the parts that collect tartar. The parts that need an expert to examine them to know what is really going on. And not just someone who can examine, but someone who can help scrape off the plaque, the build up, and who will be honest with you and day, “you need to do a better job at this, this is what you ought to do.”
There was one other catch I thought was apt in all of this. I was talking with D the other day and it has been 6 or 7 years since D’s last visit to the dentist. After hearing about my visit, D was less than excited to book one—it’s not going to be good. That too sounds like our spiritual lives—if we don’t do the maintenance we know we should, we know that plaque builds up, that cavities (read: spiritual wounds) develop, our “gums” get raw—all of those things, and the longer we wait, the more painful we know the exam and cleaning will be. And yet, all the more necessary they become. If we allow our spiritual “mouth” to go unchecked for years, we know problems will develop—even for the most faithful flosser and brusher. Check-ups are part of the deal. We need experts to take a look in the dark crevices and let us know what plaque has built up there, to scrape it off, and to give us a fresh start—with some added instruction for how to take better care of ourselves. We need all of those things. But they won’t just happen for us. We must make the appointment, we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and we must follow the directions of the experts when we receive it.

The Generosity of Folks

Today was a day of receiving. Last week I had met a man in need of assistance as I sat working on my sermon at a coffee shop. I had taken him to get a food card and food from the pantry at my church and then went back and met his fiance who was in a neck brace from their car accident, which had left them without their wallets, without resources, without anything. I had also paid for an extra night in their hotel so they could stay without worry. There were plans for them to try and get home, but he had said he would try and make it to church if for some chance they were still here. So he called Saturday and asked if he could get a ride to church. I worked it out and he came with a big smile and hugged me and talked with me in the "reception line". Then today I got another call from him, he said they wanted to give a gift to the church, could I come by? I said of course and went to meet with them. They handed me an envelope when I got there and we talked and then I drove them to the bank. After dropping them at the bank I opened the envelope and found a VERY generous check to the church--expressing their thanks for our support in their time of need. Quite frankly, I was stunned. 5 days ago this couple couldn't afford breakfast and now that they had had a chance to get their things in order, they were overwhelmingly generous. I was floored! I put 1/2 of the money in the general fund and put the other 1/2 toward the pantry and our families in need ministries. I figured they had received due to the support of others toward those ministries, so it was only appropriate that they too offer support through their gift.

Also, our church has been doing a blanket ministry for about 7 months now. Some of our women who quilt gather monthly to make 36"x36" baby blankets. Simple doubled sided flannel or flannel and cotton. They go to the hospital, the police department, or the fire department. We have made close to 200 by now. The women are taking a break for the summer, partly due to travel plans, and partly because it is scorching hot here in the summer, and partly because it is time for a sabbath. But before they break, they had a silent auction with a quilt one of our women had pieced and another had quilted. We put the blanket out last week after worship and people started bidding, and then M (who organizes the quilting) talked with a friend and the friend also wanted to donate a quilt, so she did. So this week we had two quilts up for the silent auction--together they went for over $500! All of that money goes directly toward supplies for our baby blanket ministry!!

Then tonight my neighbors had me go over. They had gone to a university near by for one of their surplus sales--sort of a like a giant garage sale from what I gather. They had shown me the list of possible items yesterday and asked if I wanted them to pick anything up for me, I said the only thing would be a laser printer. So I went tonight and they had one for me. I tried to pay them for it, but they refused. They wanted to give me a gift. And they underscored their desire with, "and if you intend to take it only to turn around and give us another gift in exchange, we'll take the money!" It was so very sweet.

I am regularly amazed at how abundantly I have received. Being the youngest child I am not ashamed of hand-me-downs and I have received some very nice second hand gifts this year--things I certainly could not afford on my own (not now anyway)--and I am thankful. Ever thankful for the many many ways I have been blessed.

Reading List

When I first left seminary, I felt freed of the necessity of reading and thus was compelled to read all that I could. Then I was promptly thrust into full-time ministry where I felt overly ill-prepared for the task at hand, so I took up more reading to feel more prepared for my responsibilities. I can't tell you how many books (or parts of books as the case may be) I have read in the last year, but I thought I would share some of the top ranking books of this year:



1) Kite Runner

2) The Memory Keeper's Daughter

3) The Stupidest Angel

4) Deepening Your Effectiveness

5) The Measure of a Man

suggestions for the next year of reading?

Quote of the day

One purpose of a liberal arts education is to make your head a more interesting place to live inside of for the rest of your life. --Mary Patterson McPherson

Worship Prayer

Almighty God we welcome you to this place.
We give thanks for your presence here among us.
We desire to worship you O God.
We want to give you all the glory, honor, and praise you deserve.
We come today with open hearts—may you fill us with your spirit and make us whole.
We come to you with open ears that you might teach us and speak to us through your Word.
We enter into this sanctuary—your home with burdens and concerns of our own,
Please God hear our hearts, listen to our worries and our frustrations. Hear our laments.
God of all nations, be with all people everywhere who honor you and worship you this day.
Remind us that through holy communion we are intimately connected to you and to all our brothers and sisters around the world.
Let us be healed this day.
Let us be made new this day.
Let us be transformed this day.
We pray all of these things in the name of your Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen.

The part she missed

I failed to mention in my last post that S was not only upset, but she had left the service early in frustration. Ironically, she missed this message:

This morning we have already heard about the incomprehensibility of God. God’s actions in our world push the limits of reason and force us to believe with our hearts, with faith. And, part of our response to God’s action in our own lives is to respond in kind. Our Christian discipleship begs us to act like God. We are called to do things as equally inexplicable. You may say, “well Pastor, I am not baptizing anyone with fire or able to give anyone the ability to speak a different language on the spot. How am I supposed to do things inexplicable like God does?” It’s a good thing you asked! The elements of Christian living may seem ordinary to us after a life time in the church, or they may seem like “just what you do” for someone who is new to the church, but for the world, for those who do not know God, who do not believe in the changing power of the gospel—some of the things we do as Christians seem pretty weird. Praying for miraculous healings with medical science says there is no hope. There are many who have labeled such acts of faith as emotionally clouded logic-lacking superstition. Partaking in the bread and juice—the body and the blood of Christ—to be cleansed of our sins and granted life anew—not exactly mainstream for a culture that endorses self-centered action for personal gain. Offering welcome to the forsaken, the marginalized, the forgotten. We offer food, shelter, home to those who have been ignored by their families, denounced by society, and hated by individuals. Not only do we offer them hospitality when they come, but we even go out and find them so that they might know the love of Christ. We do weird things. We are called to live the illogical, the perplexing, the wondrous. We are called to help the pedophile, the murderer, and the rapist. We are called to offer everyone a second chance, a third or fourth even. We are called to keep on giving, even and especially to those who are deemed “undeserving”. The world often looks at us and laughs—we are gullible, we are wasting our time and energy for a world that will “never change.” We persist with notions of peace, inclusion, and justice in times of war, rejection, and pervasive injustice. We persist with hope—the unreasonable answer in a world fraught with hurt, disease, disaster, and disorder. We persist with the Spirit of God—a Spirit that breaks the bonds of logic and invites us into the kingdom of hope. We persist with Pentecost, where all can hear God’s message in his or her own tongue. We persist in sharing the gospel where it has been heard and ignored, heard and ignored. We persist in sharing food with those who have none hoping their bellies are full and their souls are healed. We persist offering welcome, hospitality, home and hope to a world ravaged by sin—all because of the incomprehensible God. Because for our world to truly be healed---for their to be peace, justice, love, happiness, inclusion, and a future for all of God’s people God has got to break the bonds of reason, do the unbelievable and transform each and every one of us. God must continue to baptize us with fire so that we might burn with good news, burn with joy, burn with a message we are bursting to share with the world. God must transform us in droves, must do the unthinkable for otherwise we might mistake God’s actions for our own. God’s incomprehensibility reminds us that it is God acting and not us, that it is God speaking, moving and changing, and not us. Only when things push beyond logic, reason, and linear thought, only when God can be the only answer do we know, without a doubt, that there has been a Pentecost moment. There has been a God moment—God has taken action yet again, inexplicably and yet undeniably. God pushed the boundaries—God proved the mystery to be wondrous and perplexing—God anoints with fire, gifts us with the extraordinary and calls us into the world to serve as God’s hands, feet, mouth, and voice that all might see, hear, and believe. Amen.

It seems like the morning's message would have spoken directly to her, had she stayed and been open to hearing it. Pray for S, that God will speak to her and that her heart will be unhardened.

I think I have arrived

I think I’ve arrived. Sunday for the celebration of Pentecost, we did a bilingual service. This is the 4th that we’ve done now and we seem to be getting the balance/rhythm right. (Once a couple years back I had talked with someone from Trinity Lutheran, whose pastor is Heidi Neumark—one of my pastoral heroes and examples, and he had said that it took them 6-8 tries to find the bilingual balance/rhythm that was right for their congregations. So I feel we are doing well and are right on track). We “co-preached”, something my senior and I had only heard of, but managed to pull of anyway and that proved to be inspiring and fun for each of us. Unfortunately, it meant the sermon was all in English, so I tried to compensate by providing a translated manuscript for our strictly Spanish speakers, so they wouldn’t be completely left out of the preaching experience. Nevertheless, the service seemed to go really well. People were participating. There wasn’t a mass exodus. And after the service in the pastoral reception line, there were lots of compliments about the service. I was thrilled!

Then came Tuesday. I was on the church campus putting up signs for a youth event coming up and had my dog with me. The woman, D, who runs our food pantry loves Taylor and took her from me, so I said I would come back for her when I finished putting up the signs. When I got back to the pantry there was another woman there (S, a member of the church) talking to D. I walked up and waited. The woman did not bother to look at me; she just kept telling D that she was leaving the church, she would not be tithing or attending though she wouldn’t be taking her name off of the roles,. (Read here for a general sense of how I feel about things like this). She said the Spanish in the worship service was just too much for her and that she simply can’t worship. (Please keep in mind we only do bilingual services every 8+ weeks—roughly 6 or 7 times per year). She clarified that she doesn’t have any problem with Latinos, just that if they refuse to learn English then they should be “over there” for worship. She’d be perfectly happy for them to use the chapel or the sanctuary for their worship, just as long as they don’t enter into her worship time with that language.

Now D (who is 88) has not been a huge fan of the bilingual services either. She doesn’t understand the Spanish and gets frustrated with how fast it goes. (We’ve tried to alleviate some of the confusion problem by having my senior speak in English and me in Spanish—so the two languages are easily distinguished because of the difference in our voices). But, D has tried to understand and support this act of hospitality in worship. She likes me and wants to support me in ministry, and she “ha[s] never had any trouble with Hispanics” so she’s willing to grin and bear it. In talking with S, D defended the service by advocating both that I am “really sweet” and that she “ha[s] never had any trouble with Hispanics.” S would hear none of it—after all she isn’t prejudiced, she just doesn’t like having their Spanish in her worship service. And she is convinced that if she were to go to “their service” that they would not make a similar effort to make sure she understood in English (it was at that point that I chimed in and said they would—that I had been offered such acts of hospitality all over the world and even when I was the only one who didn’t understand). That was the first time she looked at me, and I am not fully convinced it actually registered with her who I was. She kept talking after D’s remark that I was nice and said, “Well, we just don’t agree.” D looked at me and said, “Well, that’s not a problem, is it?” I shook my head no. S ignored both of us and kept talking, “She’s just too much for them to be the pastor of this church.” Huh.

That’s especially intriguing to me because “them” are a part of our church. The Hispanic ministry is not a separate denomination or even a separate church—we are all a part of HUMC. One church. When you hear such a comment about yourself (and are trying not to engage and hence tear down the person) you pretty much just get stunned. I listened to the two women until they finished their dialogue. (S is sorry it has to be this way, she won’t withdraw her name from the membership, she will find another church, and since she has been a member forever, she hopes maybe she can come back someday (i.e., that I will leave, the Hispanic ministry will be dismantled and all of this nonsense can cease)). S hugged D and left. D then returned Taylor to me and I went back to the office in my state of shock.

I can’t really tell you if I was more hurt personally/directly or more hurt indirectly for what she was really saying about my congregation. I was fortunate that DD, a fellow clergy and friend who shares our offices, was there and willing to listen. We talked for awhile and he passed on wisdom a seminary professor had shared with him: “When the people praise you, they aren’t praising you; they are praising God for what God has done through you. And when they criticize you, they aren’t criticizing you; they are criticizing God and what God has challenged them to do through you.”

After chewing on all of this for awhile, I realized that I should take her statement: “She’s just too much for them to be the pastor of this church” as a compliment. I think this is what I’ve been striving for for years now. You could, hopefully, fill in “them” with a variety of “types of people” and hopefully the statement would remain true. For, I would hate to be confused as too much for “us”, as that would mean I was continuing to be elitist, racist, sexist, and offering justification for the majority. (Now, not that I am free from the binds of these ‘isms. I think we all continue to have stereotypes and prejudices that lay latent until evoked by a particular situation. It’s the nature of the human condition. I’m not sure we ever get out from under all of the ‘isms.) But I would much rather be seen as siding with “them” than with S. (Though I do feel for her. I have had do struggle a lot with my own racist views and insidiously hateful notions. I have been in S’s shoes. The difference is I chose to endure the pain of being transformed rather than walk away to a simpler place).

All of that is the long way of saying, “I have arrived.” I am becoming the pastor I have prayed to be. (Though I am pretty sure that in my prayers I was not imagining how it would hurt to be such a woman).

Quote of the day

"Sometimes miracles come as death so there isn't suffering." --SG

Scraping and Painting

They are preparing the outside of the buildings in my apartment complex for painting. We received notice about 2 weeks ago that they would be power washing and for us to move all objects off the balconies and porches. I only saw the workers power wash one day. Otherwise they have been stripping/scrapping by hand and replacing rotten boards and then priming the bare wood. They have yet to paint, but I figure they will do all that at once. It all seems to be a very apt analogy for our spiritual lives. While good materials and craftsmanship may have been used/done originally on constructing our spiritual home, after 10, 15, or 20 years we fall into mild disrepair and we must be cleaned up, fixed, and given a fresh coat.

Some areas of our lives have been well-kept, or have suffered little weathering, and will only require a light wash and some fresh paint. The parts that are cracked and rough will need to be scrapped, prepared, and painted in order to return to a presentable state. And then other parts are completely rotted out—maybe we used faulty materials originally or maybe that area suffered more wear and tear or weathering—whatever the case, that part is no longer viable and must be removed, replaced, primed, and painted. Just like with the apartment building, we live in our spiritual home and some parts are great—maybe we go to church every week, tithe, participate in Bible study—those parts are strong and presentable. Then there are the rough spots—splintered and cracking—maybe our daily devotional time with God is less than consistent or we fail to take Sabbath or we are holding a grudge. Those parts need to be scraped away, cleaned up, primed, and redone. Finally, there are the rotten boards—the spiritual demons. We may be ashamed to have them exposed or fearful of the pain and having them removed. Those rotten places in our spiritual home may be there for a variety of reasons: 1) poor materials—maybe we inherited some “old junk” and had to use it. 2) Neglect—we didn’t have the time or energy to deal with those rotten places. 3) Weathering—we experienced a crisis, trial, or storm and were battered in the process. Rotten boards would include racism, sexism, homophobia, elitism, classism, prejudice, apathy, bigotry, and indifference. None of those rotten boards is healthy or edifying for our spiritual home. None of them will protect us through future spiritual storms. And whatever the reason for the disrepair, those problematic boards need to be removed, replaced, prepared, and painted.

Sometimes this upkeep work is tedious and time consuming. It can be costly, and it forces us to be exposed and vulnerable. Nevertheless, it is worthwhile, and not just worthwhile, but necessary. It is necessary for the well-being of our spiritual home. We must take the time and energy to do this work—otherwise we risk corrosion, rot, mold, cracking, and eventually complete disrepair.

Mas alla de la comprension

La acción de Dios produce un disturbio—un alboroto. La gente se hace ansiosa y curiosa. Quieren respuestas definitivas. Quieren ver la lógica y las causas, no el misterio y la fe. Beverly Gaventa lo dice así: “Queremos que el Espíritu Santo sea como el café del avión, débil pero constante, dado en cantidades pequeñas.” “En el aire libre, la gente preguntará, se burlará, e insistirá en una respuesta.” “Porque el Espíritu Santo siempre tiene un carácter rebelde.” La historia de Pentecostés no es aguada, ni es el café débil del avión. La historia de Pentecostés que tenemos aquí nos asombra y casi no se puede imaginar. El viento, si lo podemos imaginar. No hay problema. Aun quizás hemos experimentado a Dios así en nuestras vidas. Escuchamos a Dios por la brisa en el bosque, o por las tormentas. Y después, vemos al Espíritu como si fuera fuego, llamas sobre cada persona. Aquí empieza a ser medio dudable. ¿Llamitas? ¿Sobre cada uno? No manches. Quizás estaban borrachos. O quizás estaban soñando. Solo imaginaron estas llamas, ¿verdad? No ocurrieron en actualidad. Nuestra naturaleza dudosa agarra nuestro ser. Y después los escuchamos hablando para que todos escucharan en su propio idioma. Todos entendieron las palabras de los discípulos esta noche. Mmmm. Esto es demasiado para nosotros. ¿Quieres decir que los discípulos que hablaban el griego de repente podían hablar las lenguas de los que no hablaban el griego y que habían venido de todas partes? ¿De repente podían? ¿Sin clase? ¿Sin lecciones? ¿Solo una llamita sobre su cabeza y los discípulos de momento eran bilingües? Muy rápido la historia de Pentecostés se convirtió de una historia sencilla y suave sobre Dios en el viento a llamitas y poder bilingüe instante. En si mismo, esto es mas allá de la comprensión. Y si creer en esto no es creencia de fe, no se lo que sería.

Así que Pentecostés no es una historia lindita sobre los nuevos creyentes—es una historia que prueba el poder de Dios y las realidades de fe. El Pentecostés epitoma el carácter ilógico e indescriptible de Dios. Estrecha los limites del razón. Quizás diríamos que el Pentecostés rompe los límites del razón. Para creer necesitamos la fe. Tenemos que confiar en la grandeza de Dios. Tenemos que creer que Dios sí puede hacer milagros, Dios sí puede convertir a miles en un solo día. Dios si puede dar el poder de lenguas a 12 judíos que hablaban el griego por el bien del evangelio. La fe en si misma nos permita saber, sin duda, que Dios puede hacer estas cosas. Si requerimos evidencia racional, nos quedamos detrás. La vida cristiana prueba vez tras vez que nuestra vida en Cristo no tiene que ver con la lógica, tiene que ver con la fe. Es por la fe que creemos en el nacimiento de la virgen María; es por la fe que explicamos la naturaleza de Jesús—la combinación del divino y el humano en uno. Por la fe aceptamos y regocijamos en los milagros. Por la fe oramos y creemos que Dios sí sanará y cambiará nuestras vidas. Las acciones de Dios rompen los límites de la lógica y por la fe en Dios, podemos ver las maravillas de un Dios que nos ha escogido a nosotros, que nos ha amado, que nos ha guiado, que se ha sacrificado para nosotros, dando su propia vida en Cristo para nosotros, y que se ha resucitado para nosotros. Las acciones de Dios no son fácil de negar. Son irracionales, son sin límites, son maravillosas, y son confusas.

Respuesta a la accion de Dios

Las acciones de Dios en nuestro mundo rompen los limites del razón y nos hacen creen con nuestros corazones, nuestra fe. Y, parte de nuestra respuesta a las acciones de Dios en nuestras vidas es responder de tal manera. Nuestro discipulado cristiano nos ruega comportarnos como Dios. Somos llamados a hacer las cosas tan inexplicables como Dios los hace. Quizás me dirán, “Bueno, Pastora, no voy a bautizar a nadie con fuego ni darles el don de lenguas en un solo momento. ¿Cómo voy hacer las cosas tan inexplicables como Dios las hace?” ¡Que bueno que me preguntaron esto! Los elementos a la vida cristiana quizás parecen normales o cotidianos a nosotros después de una vida en la iglesia, o porque “son así” en la iglesia, y como nuevos miembros no preguntamos nada, pero para los que son fuera de la iglesia, las cosas que hacemos son raras. Orando por milagros de sanidad cuando los médicos dicen que no hay esperanza. Hay muchos que han dicho que este tipo de acción de fe es supersticioso, emocional, y falta razón. Tomando el pan y el vino—el cuerpo y la sangre de Cristo—para ser sanados de nuestros pecados y dados vida nueva—no es exactamente normal por una cultura que predica acción centrado en el individual por su propio éxito. Dando la bienvenida a los rechazados, marginalizados, y olvidados. Dando comida, albergue, y hogar a los que han sido ignorados por sus familias, denunciados por la sociedad, y odiados por los demás. No solo les ofrecemos hospitalidad cuando vengan, pero aun salimos a buscarlos para que conozcan al amor de Cristo. Hacemos cosas raras. Somos llamados a vivir lo ilógico, lo perplejo, lo maravilloso. Somos llamados a ayudar al pedofilio, a el que mata, y a el que viola. Somos llamados a ofrecer una segunda oportunidad a todos, aun una tercera o cuarta. Somos llamados a seguir dando, aun y especialmente a los que “no lo merecen.” El mundo nos mira y se ríe—somos tontos, estamos tirando nuestro dinero y tiempo a la basura para un mundo que “nunca cambiará”. Persistimos con ideas de paz, inclusión, y justicia en tiempos de guerra, rechazo, e injusticia. Persistimos con esperanza—la respuesta irracional en un mundo afligido por enfermedades, dolor, desastres, y desorden. Persistimos con el Espíritu de Dios—un espíritu que rompe los límites del razón y que nos invita al reino de esperanza. Persistimos con el Pentecostés, donde todos pueden escuchar el mensaje de Dios en su propia lengua. Persistimos en compartir el evangelio donde ha sido escuchado e ignorado, escuchado e ignorado. Persistimos en compartir comida con los que no tienen esperando que les llenará el estomago y les sanará su alma. Persistimos en dar la bienvenida, hospitalidad, hogar, y esperanza a un mundo quebrado por el pecado—todo por la incomprensibilidad de Dios. Porque si queremos de verdad que el mundo sea sanado—que haya paz, justicia, amor, gozo, inclusión, y un futuro para todos los criaturas de Dios—Dios tiene que romper los limites del razón, tiene que hacer lo que no se puede creer y transformar cada uno de nosotros. Dios tiene que bautizarnos con fuego para que quememos con las buenas noticias, quememos con gozo, quememos con un mensaje que está saltando de nuestras bocas. Dios tiene que transformarnos miles a la vez, tiene que hacer lo que no se puede imaginar, porque si no, podemos confundir las acciones de Dios por las nuestras. La incomprensibilidad de Dios nos hace recordar que es Dios actuando, y nosotros no, que Dios está hablando, moviendo, cambiando, y nosotros no. Solamente cuando las cosas son mas allá de lo lógico y racional, solamente cuando Dios puede ser la única respuesta sabemos, sin duda, que ha sido un momento de Pentecostés. Ha habido un momento de Dios—Dios ha actuado otra vez, inexplicable y sin duda. Dios rompió los limites—Dios probó que el misterio es maravilloso y perplejo. Dios unge con fuego, nos da dones extraordinarias y nos llama al mundo para servir como sus manos, pies, boca, y voz para que todos vean, escuchen, y crean. Amen.

Doing a new thing

God is doing a new thing here. In fact, God is doing a new thing all over the world. God always seems to be doing something new, creative, different, and challenging in our lives. Our God is rarely a god of the "same old same old". While in New Orleans, I was blessed to speak with a new believer. I asked what his new found belief in God had done for his life. He said he had peace, he could sleep at night, but that most of all he had hope. The crux of our faith is hope--hope in Christ, hope in the life eternal, hope for ourselves, and hope for our world, and that hope is always future facing. Hope does not look back--it always pulls us into the future, into the kingdom. The forgiveness we experience in Jesus pulls us away from the past--away from our sins, our ignorance, our hatred, and our prejudice and into the kingdom of God. God calls us to peace, to love, to reconciliation, to wholeness, to understanding, to acceptance, and to celebration. By drawing us away from the pain of our past and into the bounty of our future, God reconciles our past and gives us a future. As we see what God is doing in our midst, let us celebrate the new things--the future things, the hopeful things Jesus Christ has laid before us.

Weekend Highlights

The Strawberry Stomp

I got to feel like Lucille Ball if only for a few minutes!!

The good stuff

I am on a much needed vacation and am enjoying relaxing, playing, and hanging out with my best friend. Some of the highlights from the weekend are:

1) playing at the beach

2) "Guess who's coming to dinner"

3) stomping strawberries at the festival

4) sleeping in until 10:00

5) "The Roman Holiday"

6) Sidney Portier's autobiography "Measure of a Man"

7) Pictures of JH's new baby

8) Reading my "memoirs" (a.k.a. the hundreds of emails I sent my best friend while I was in college)

9) Buying the cutest dress for my niece for her CA visit

10) Being able to walk out the door and be at the beach in 5 minutes (walking!)

Forgiveness

G recently posted about forgiveness (or the lack thereof) and I was prompted to the following response. But before I muse a bit, I leave you with his beautiful quote:

"my anger excludes all visitors except machismo."

as always, I appreciate your candor and openness in sharing, and you were right, I did appreciate this piece. as you seemed to expect, I am most drawn to commenting on forgiveness. Forgiveness is such an interesting issue, and loaded with complexities to boot. I think one of the most helpful things for me to learn (which came in large part from working with survivors and dealing with people in my own life who weren't quite right in how they acted or fully sincere in their apologies) was that forgiveness isn't primarily (or even necessarily) about the other person and their apology. It is about you and the feelings (most often, as you've noted, anger and resentment--which stem from hurt or fear) that you harbor. So the true act of forgiveness means letting go of the feelings so they don't eat at you. Whether or not the offending party actually apologizes is almost completely irrelevant--which is important b/c we are not guaranteed an apology, or, if we do receive one, it clearly may not be what we want--so as long as we are tied to that person's action (i.e., the apology) we can't be truly liberated from the event. Another way of saying all of that is that forgiveness is a type of emotional cleansing or liberation from the resulting feelings of being hurt/angered/offended.
And, the adage "forgive and forget" (in my opinion) is a bunch of bull, at least if we are referring to actual mental memory. Why? Because if I simply forget the past, I am prone to repeat it. If I hold no records of what has been done to me, I can be hurt, abused, affected over and over again. But, if we refer the memory of grudge or resentment, then forgiveness is exactly that--forgetting--letting go of the weight of those emotions so that we are no longer burdened by them (b/c God knows the other person is not carrying that burden...)

The War

After reading a few recent posts on the war in Iraq and being continuously confronted by the ceaselessness of the fighting (a.k.a. deaths), and a heated debate with a parishoner about how the US actions have not served as a knight in shining armor "if only they weren't so ignorant and realized the good we are doing" I am compelled to post on the war. I have never been in favor of the war and yet neither am I a fan of pulling out all the troops, at least not at this point, (even having friends and loved ones over there). I know some people see that as a contradiction, either I support the war and want troops there or I do not. But my lack of support for pulling out is not about wanting the war, it is about responsibility--I don't think it's fair to go in and tear up someone else's country and then get the heck out of dodge because things aren't working as well as you thought. It's a matter of justice, responsibility, and follow through for me. Now, having said that I am beginning to believe the government efforts are futile in terms of our "goals" (whatever they are worth). And what I am believing now is that humanitarian groups (religious, habitat for humanity, organic farming, small size loans or otherwise) will probably bear the brunt of the burden anyway, and I believe are the better agents for change to boot, so we might as well get that ball rolling so that we CAN do something constructive in Iraq and help empower people. Not that I think a pullout will end the insurgencies, I think that is more deeply rooted, but I think organic empowerment is more likely to be successful than simple (or even complex) military presence.

for what it's worth

I extend an apology to my regular readers both for a general lack of postings in the last few weeks and because I fear my current postings lack the depth I desire for them. In the past few weeks (after almost 2 months of working solid, which means I did get Monday sabbath but did NOT get Saturday volunteer, relax, and sermon writing time), I have found my mind shutting down--no real creativity, an obvious lack of enthusiasm (though still, mechanically, getting the job done), and an unwillingness to go there because I do not have the emotional reserves to deal with what I find. My sermons have suffered, my Bible study has suffered, and I think most importantly, my soul has suffered. Don't get me wrong, I hardly feel like things are spinning out of control; mostly, I think I have just shifted into survival mode to get things done, and now that I am on vacation and starting to come out of it, I realize the shallow waters I am in. Herein lies my lament, tied to my hope for deeper waters...

Consolation and Desolation

St. Ignatius of Loyola had a spiritual discipline of reflecting daily on consolations and desolations. I had started this practice in the fall after talking with my walking partner (who is both a pastor and a spiritual director). Granted, my own discipline with this practice is less than ideal, but today two things happened that I thoguth I would share.
Desolation: in a conversation with a 97 year old man (who seems to generally think highly of me) he told me he thought I was throwing my life away with my career choice, and he followed that up by telling me that he feels sorry for me.
Consolation: a 30 something man I had met in New Orleans and talked to for about a half an hour (mostly about his brother's artwork but also some about his faith life--he's a new believer--and what some of the "next steps" might be in his journey) texted me and asked for prayer. we sent a few texts back and forth and then we ended up talking later on. He said that from our one conversation he had gone home and pulled out his Bible and read the entire gospel of Matthew that night and that he got back into going to church.

so, to sum up, some think my life's work is a waste and others got something huge out of a minute experience...

Back to the basics

Maybe I'm overly simplistic in my thinking, but the other day in a conversation with a few other clergy, the ministerial challenge of dealing with cultural norms of individualism, personal preference, and entertainment came up and one pastor in his frustration claimed, "I just don't know what we are supposed to do; if there were a right answer we'd all be doing it!" My reply was "there isn't just one answer other than do what we are called to do: preach and live the good news." Because of background noise, he clarified to make sure he heard right. "what and live the good news?" "Preach and live the good news." Part of a larger group, our discussion stopped there, and I was concerned that maybe I sounded flippant. I wasn't trying to be flippant or dismissive, and maybe it is overly simplistic. But I think part of our "problem" in the church is that we try to cater to those cultural norms and expectations believing (or maybe better said, not believing) that the power of the gospel is not strong enough to win out.

I get that as a society we have become a "me generation"--I am far from oblivious to that and I fully understand how that interferes with the work of the church--self-giving, sacrifice, dedication, commitment through difficulties....those aren't values that top the list of most folks in their quest for immediate success and abundant riches. Give up what I "earned"?? Ha! People scoff at such a notion. Give what is mine to someone who hasn't scrapped the way I have? That's their problem if they can't make it work. Those are the notions that I find anyway. So I understand that the gospel message isn't popular--but hasn't that always been the case? And if we don't believe that at their core what people really want is to make a difference, be held to a higher standard, achieve something of value, be worth something more than their image, then isn't the gospel message of hope and transformation already lost?

I do believe the gospel message must be made relevant--but I do not believe that means we have to do backflips to make the good news appealing--it has appeal in and of itself, and if we (meaning professing Christians) don't truly believe that at our core, then we MUST go back and take a serious look at our own beliefs, our own faith life, our own transformation in Christ.

Success

A former youth of mine recently sent me these questions and said she considered me successful, would I answer them for her, below are the questions and the answers, I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how you define and measure success.

Five Successful People

How do you define success? I think success is achieving goals, working beyond yourself (i.e., stretching yourself to go further and work harder than you thought you could), I think success can even involve failing if it means setting a goal and risking something to try and achieve it, if you don’t get all the way there—I still think there is success in having put forth the effort. Success is a job well done, putting forth the effort to do something really well.
How did you become and stay successful? Well, the definition of successful is relative—you said I was successful—not me! Though, by my own definition of success, I suppose I would have to say that I have achieved success, at the very least. I think some of the key factors were 1) my parents made me see things through. If I signed up for soccer, I played the whole year, even if my team was losing every game and I didn’t want to play. When I made a commitment, they made sure I held to it until the end, I think that’s a big deal. It’s easy to get frustrated or discouraged or think things are impossible, but because they wouldn’t let me just walk away, that is one of the values I hold to, if I commit—I am committed—100% to do the best I can. 2) My dad would ask “did you do your best?” if I got a D on a test but had done my best, that was okay. Now, normally a D is not my best, so if I don’t give something my all I really need to evaluate and start putting in more energy or finding new ways to see things so that I can do my best. 3) I have had lots of encouragement along the way. My mom always used to praise us, in the beginning for little things: “good job brushing your teeth!” or “thank you for putting your shoes where they belong” and then later in life for doing well on academic or extra curricular things—my mom is a cheerleader of sorts and I have several of them in my life, they tell me when I am doing well, which gives me energy and motivation to do more things well.
What type of education did you need? To be successful or to do what I do? My “success education” lies in the above teachings, along with others. To do what I do as a pastor I needed a bachelor’s degree (didn’t matter in what) and then a master of divinity degree. My BA was a 4 year degree and the master’s is a 3 year degree.
Is this where you imagined yourself to be? Starting when? When I was younger? No. I wanted to be everything from a vet to a doctor to a teacher to a…..who knows what?!? High school? No. I wanted to be a counselor and even into college. Then college brought ideas of working in social welfare, teaching, counseling, advocacy, immigrant rights, and the beginnings of thinking I would work in the church. Finally before my 4th year I saw I could do a little of everything I wanted as a pastor.
Are you happy where you are? Generally. I think I am doing what God wants me to do and I was called out of my gifts and passions. So a lot of the time I do what I love to do. (other days are harder and need more convincing that this is right, but mostly I am happy).
How would you advise me to start my “road to success”? By imagining what you could do (and not limiting yourself to easy or simple things), by looking at what you love to do, what calls to you, what you could do all day and not realize the day had passed, and start exploring those possibilities. Try some things, take some risks, don’t be afraid to fail, and pray, God’s guidance has also been a big part of taking me to where I am, and that’s a big deal to hear God AND follow God’s leading.
What is the most important tip you can share with me? Don’t be afraid to risk, to try things, to put yourself out there, because it is often through trial and error that we really learn how to do things.

Dry walling and the Christian life

This morning after praying for further inspiration for my sermon, I was drawn to preaching something completely different than what I had prepared. Instead of preaching on the peace Jesus leaves us, I was drawn (back) into how our love for Jesus necessitates a response. I preached about how that response is not a deber (as in something we HAVE to do) rather it is a privilegio (something we get to do and should be joyful about). In simple terms: we get to rather than got to. (Thank you MP). After that the Spirit was off and running with how we shouldn't be fooled into believe that privilegio will be facil. The work we do on behalf of Christ or as a response to how we are moved by Christ's love is hard work, it is work that goes on and on and on.

The analogy I had was drywalling. That had been my job while in Mississippi. I had no mudding experience going in, so all of it was new. The first day we got there, our "boss" assigned us the task of sanding all the walls where the drywall mud was. Okay. So we sanded away, sweltering un the doubly humid heat of our dust masks. We sanded and sanded and sanded. Once we had finished a room or two, our next task was to mud. Lay on the mud, scrape it off to a thin layer. Lay on mud, scrape it off. Also a fairly redundant job. But I was learning and we are making progress. One room done. Two rooms done. Three rooms done! Rock on. Day one finished and we left, tired, but pleased with the work we had done.

Then came day two, alright boss what are we going to do today? You are going to sand these walls and then re-mud them. Seriously? We didn't finish yesterday? Nope, go ahead and sand and re-mud. It needs to be done at least 3 times. Okay. Day two for us was actually the third day of mudding for these walls, so we worked and worked, thinking that we would finish the job and then move on to something different on day three. So, again we sanded, and again we mudded. The end of the day came and our boss wasn't there to check our work, but we figured he'd check in the morning and then take us back to his work site (he had left a team of about 6 of us at one house and he had gone to the other with the other 7 or so folks).

Well, let's just say that was wishful thinking! Day three brought more of the same. Sand and mud. Sand and mud. I will just say that I was not so excited about mudding by day three and beginning to resent the boss by day four. Could we really need to sand and mud again?!?! Fortunately day four brought a reprieve (sort of). While we didn't have to mud again, we did have to sand all of the walls so they could be textured and then sealed and painted. I have yet to be convinced of WHY they had to be sanded again if they were only going to be textured, but whatever.

By now you're probably thinking, "Debbie, you just wanted to whine a little, this has nothing to do with the Christian life." Hopefully I will prove you wrong. *Or the Spirit will anyway since I did not think of this ingenius connection on my own. =) The connection is that often we agree to do God's bidding, to live out the message and we go with gusto and excitement the first day. "Sure God, I can feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoners, and offer compassion to all!" We finish the day, and God says, "Good work." Expecting a new and exciting task the next day, we are mildly discouraged when God sets us to the same task. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoners, and offer compassion to all. Okay fine. I'll go. In your name. We finish another day of work, having done a good job and again await the praise of our boss. Yes, my daughter/son you did a wonderful job. (Sweet!) Now, go do it again to make sure it is perfect. (Not so sweet!) So we go, and we do more of the same. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoners, and offer compassion to all. And yet maybe this day we are not as excited, thinking we had done a good job, we think these tasks should be finished. We worked hard, why aren't we done with this chore? The boss offers no real explanation, only that it needs to be more perfect. We clean up again, preparing for the larger tasks to be done, circling and fixing errors, trying to get it just right. And alas, even when we finish with one house, there is another to be finished--this time more errors were made early on, more mistakes, more clean up, more mudding, more sanding, more of the same.

You see the Christian life really is like drywalling. Each step is dependent upon the precision with which the previous was completed. Many steps need to be done and redone, and those that were done improperly the first time around must be redone even more. The job we do affects the work future workers will be able to do. We cannot afford to be sloppy or lazy, others are depending on us to get the job done and get it done right. And, as my work team boss says, "We pay for others' sins." (*Note, at my theological core I do not believe this statement--Christ pays for other's sins, not us--but there does seem to be some level of truth to it in thinking of the mission set before us--if we fail to do our job, others will pay the consequence, just as we have had to pay the consequence, we have had to work harder because others were sloppy in their work.)

Here ends today's sermon illustration.