Saturday, October 6, 2007
Avoidance is like a growth hormone for the emotions associated with those things in life we'd rather not deal with. Fear. Confrontation. Rejection. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. These aren't exactly situations most of us are drawn to, and so, logically, we attempt to distance ourselves from them. We distract ourselves. We justify our hesitation. And yet, I've found our attempts at avoidance actually serve as a steroid of sorts for the fear, intimidation, reluctance, whatever it is that impedes us from having the conversation/interaction in the first place. The more distance we place between ourselves and the dreaded encounter, the more dreadful it becomes in our imagination--the person's expected reaction becomes more fierce, the fallout from our words--irreversible, the relationship--irreconcilable. What would have been but a kitten had we dealt with it on day 1 becomes a ravenous lion because we waited until day 15. The problem itself may or may not be affected by our actual avoidance, but the perceived problem and/or consequences becomes gigantic and insurmountable. It's a crazy thing, avoidance; and by my estimations, ironically, it should be avoided!