Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Marriage on the mind

The last couple of weeks I've had marriage on my mind. I have simply been musing on marriage, and having heard many bad reports of infidelity, addiction, abuse, and variety of other tensions and problems, I have become fairly cynical about marriage. I have always idealized/romanticized marriage, and lately I have been struggling to believe that it's really worthwhile. My musing hasn't really had true direction, it's just been musing, wondering, questioning, and mostly doubting. Yesterday, I proofed a friend's template for a wedding service he will be using. (for the record, he's not practicing any religion, is a trained psychologist, and doing a service for an atheist couple and he asked for some help from me....I asked another friend, who has actually done a wedding service, for a template and passed his sample's onto the wedding rookie). The service he wrote up was wonderful--sweet, endearing, insightful. I really liked it. I particularly liked the vows: "I promise above all else to live in truth with you/and to communicate fully and fearlessly/I give you my hand and my heart /as a sanctuary of warmth and peace/and pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor as I join my life to yours" I read his and then the 5 samples my friend sent and the romantic in me bounced right back...I couldn't help but think, "I want that."

I want to believe in marriage. I want to believe that couples make it. I want to believe that despite the anger, frustration, and disappointment that is guaranteed when two people live together and try and raise children, decide who will do which chores, negotiate extended family issues, and work around differing communication styles that marriage really is a beautiful thing. I want to believe in all those things but lately it's just hard to do...

So today I am petitioning your stories of marital hope and triumph...

1 comment:

molly said...

The NYTimes had an OpEd piece this week, saying that we've been mislead into believing that marriage continues to fall apart in our culture.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/29/opinion/29wolfers.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I just know that I'm enjoying it, even when it means a lot of hard work. I count it as pretty hopeful that we survived Matt's deployment to a war that I really, really oppose. Not exactly the idealized romantic story, but real...