Friday, October 19, 2007

Quiet for my soul

I am more and more convinced that I simply have not had enough quiet time as of late. On the 4 hour drive to Death Valley I began to get antsy after about 2 and a half hours on the road. My cell phone reception was soon to see its end and I got off the phone with my best friend so I could try and entertain myself for the next part of the trip. I played music and sang along. I sat in silence. I opened the sunroof. I closed the sunroof. I sat in silence. I sang songs acapella to myself. Lots of songs. Praise songs. Oldies. Whatever came into my head. (It was sort of reminiscent of Spain where around just about every corner I was struck by some other song and would break into it). I thought about work. I thought about relationships. I thought about nothing. I waved to all the passing cars. And the trip kept dragging on and on and on.

Here in the lowest part of the contiguous United States there is NO cell reception and NO wireless internet. I think if I had been forwarned about this fact, I’d be fine. But now I am anxious because there are people I was hoping to talk to during these days and am ill at ease thinking they’ll have no idea why I’m not returning my phone calls. I had also told my dog sitters they could email me with any question, only I was wrong about that too. There’s no email here. And really, I probably just need to let it all go and call it a day, but something keeps ticking in my head.

All of this, I think , is proof that there is not enough quiet time in my life. If I had more solitude (in the quiet reflective sense, not the alone sense) I probably wouldn’t be bothered by all this quiet. But as it stands, when the day is done and everyone in my family is coupled up and off to their own cabins, I’m here thinking to myself. Stirring in my own head. It’s aggravating really.

No comments: