A number of years ago my grandmother had a stroke, a number of strokes really, and it left her in need of full-time care. She has had a number of live-in assistants, and at one point when there was a break in help, I was able to stay with her for a couple of weeks. It's not a taxing job in most ways...help her dress, oatmeal in the morning, make sure she takes her pills, scrabble or a game, tv, lunch, another few games, dinner, more pills, dinner, and then some more tv and then bed. There's laundry, simple cleaning, and meal preparation. One of the greatest challenges is the tedious nature of the same routine day after day....that and dealing with a mightily stubborn woman whose short term memory is shot...I can't tell you how many times she'll ask who I'm dating in the course of an hour...after answering "no one" time after time and beginning to feel lousy about my date-less life I'll occasionally change the story and make up some wonderful suitor...
Her current care-giver is in her early twenties and is very sweet. I'm sure boredom must overtake her quite regularly, but she has done well at taking up hobbies and finding things to do. Tonight I called to check-in with my grandmother following a fall she had a week or two ago. She had already gone to bed, so I talked for a bit with her caregiver. Minor stuff really but somewhere in the midst of it it dawned on me to thank her for what she does. She does good work, and my grandmother can be quite difficult and stubborn (we discussed her refusal to use her walker in spite of her fall....). I could hear her voice lift when I thanked her...I realized how irregularly I do that, and how nice it would be if I took more time to make mention of my gratitude.
So, my suggestion today, if there is a caregiver in your life (for a loved one, friend, or otherwise) to acknowledge their patience, their hard work, their dedication, and the love they are sharing with your loved one.
No comments:
Post a Comment