Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dating Dizziness...

I don't know how many of you are dating (mostly because I don't know the identity of all my readers...supposing there are more than the 3 I do know...anyway), but for me dating is one of the most stressful and feasibly unenjoyable things I could do with my time. Now, granted, once the ice has been broken and you're enjoying yourself, dating can be a blast, but the anticipation, lead-up, and early awkwardness make it almost forbidden in my mind. I mean really, do people actually enjoy this? With the prospect of a date on my horizon, here's what's running through my head:

A date, I could do a date. hey, wait, I don't really know Mr. Date-Man, so this is kinda like a blind date. Ugh. Okay not exactly, but still, ugh. That means there's those weird getting to know you things...the things that might go unnoticed or unstated with someone you do know...become terribly important and vexing. Man, this means I have to think about who pays the check...do I grab it? offer to pay? offer to pay half? offer to pay tip? Just assume that since he invited, he's paying? Ugh. Oh yeah, then there's the door thing...dang door thing...do I let him open the door? Do I wait for him to open my door or just get in and out? I hate waiting for someone to do something I am perfectly capable of doing. Dang door thing. What if there's weird conversation problems? what if he asks: so tell me about yourself. Oh how I hate that prompt. It's so uninspiring. I think that probably provokes the MOST boring answers about myself I could think of. I have # siblings, grew up in Podunk small town, went to Y university, went to Z seminary, like to travel, read, hike, and cook. Anything else? Okay, cool. Then I guess we're done talking...right?!? Oh man I hate dating, it makes my head hurt. Then there's the question of what to wear...pants? skirt? dressy? casual? hair natural? done up? make up? My former philosophy was I would dress down as much as possible (really...as close to sweats as possible without looking like I really had just fallen out of bed). My strategy was that if I looked bad, then I would know what they really thought of me and I would deter any misguided souls. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't, 'cause let me tell you I still met my share of misguided souls...and I really didn't have many good dates under this mode of operation. So now I try and look decent, but not overdone, which is such a chore. Burgers and bowling people; I'm a simple woman. Really, it's less complicated. I know what to wear to burgers and bowling...dinner at a real restaurant...who the heck knows?! Again, I'm asking, who actually enjoys this? Does anyone else suffer from this minor neurosis of questions and quandaries? Oh yeah, and don't even get me started on the close of the date business....walking to the car? or walking to the door? hug? kiss? kiss on the cheek? let's do this again? I had a great time? what if you never to do this again, how do you say that nicely?

Ay, ay, ay....

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