Finally after 30 minutes of futile and very frustrated questioning she named it: "I think we are too different to make this work. We understand God too differently and I don't have the words to communicate well with you." you got that right! I kept thinking of the place where I volunteer, we do horse back riding with kids with disabilities, and some kids simply respond better to certain people. The instructor can be top notch, but sometimes the kids just click better with someone else. I clearly needed someone different.
On my ride home I was frustrated and hurt. Frustrated for how it didn't work and the prospect of having to find someone different (along with the possibility that I may have presented a similar problem for someone I have counseled along the way). Hurt because the way she explained things made me feel absolutely inept, spiritually immature, and impossible to work with. The notion that came to me in those moments is that I need a soul whisperer. I mean really, there are dog whisperers and horse whisperers, I need a soul whisperer, someone who gets it and gets me. Where the resonance of our souls works in harmony and I can keep progressing in my faith journey.